Back Yard

In the time that Sara and I have been married, we've lived in several different cities and towns in four states.  Although there are no universals, I can say that one thing I've run into time and time again - and it never fails to amaze me - is that people don't recognize the things that are in their own back yards.  One of the first times I noticed this was on a trip to San Francisco.  First, you had to look long and hard to find someone there that considered themselves a "native" but when you did and you asked about the local sights, they hadn't been there. They had not been to Alcatraz, or out to Napa Valley, or in some cases even down to Fisherman's Wharf.  I remembered thinking it was amazing that they would have missed these things, but chalked it up to being a "California" thing.

Time passed and we landed in Dallas.  Although we were only there for a short period of time, I knew there was a lot that should be seen and experienced.  And in the middle of it all, there was the Grassy Knoll and The School Book Depository.  These locations were at the center of a moment in time that compared to few.  Twice in my life I remembered school being interrupted for something happening in the world.  One was the assassination of Kennedy and the other was the moon landing.  Now, here I was, at  the place where the Kennedy assassination happened. I wanted to learn as much as possible and take in as much of the feeling that I could about it.  In the time we were there, we went to this area two or three times with company from out of town and with people that were from Dallas. I was always amazed that the people who lived in Dallas had never been there before.  They meant to, but they had just never gotten it done.  They didn't recognize the importance of things right in their own backyard.  Well, maybe it was a California and Texas thing.

After Dallas, we worked our way back through Kansas City and home to Iowa.  We've been here about six years now.  And lo and behold, I found out that we are the same way here. I actually live the same way. When we were moving so much it seemed like we should check things out in these other places, but now that we settled back in to Iowa, I know that there are things here we are missing.

We have yet to go to the new High Trestle Bridge up in the Boone area.  I've been talking about going there for five years already and done nothing more than that.  It is not like it's too far, it is just that we haven't gotten to it.  We haven't been to the State Capital since coming home ... or the State Historical Museum.  All of these are worth the time that it would take to take in the venue.  We did in fact visit the Art Museum when Karen and Jaye were here because we knew that they would enjoy it, but that was the push that finally motivated us.

On top of the things that those of us who live here haven't been to see, it's really interesting the manner that we think about the things that are in the state.  For example, we have a great number of really quality educational institutions, even beyond Drake University.  Yet when you talk to Iowans, they often have a tendency to minimize or dismiss the local institutions as not being of the same quality that you find outside the state.  It just isn't true.  We have quality undergraduate degrees and graduate programs in law, medicine, engineering, and veterinary science that will line up against anyone in the nation.

Finally, while we are talking about this kind of thing, and I know I have mentioned it in the past, we have one of the finest State Fairs in the nation. Good food, great exhibits and if you have never been to "East Side Night," you have truly missed something. 

We need to be aware of all of the things that exist right in our own backyard.  We need to recognize and appreciate all of them.

Career

While wandering around Evernote today, I came across this note from my mother.  It was one of the multitude of little sayings that she kept stuck around in her life, and out of all of those that I disposed of when we cleaned out her house, I actually kept this one.  I guess that when I ran across it when cleaning, it meant something to me and today once again, it truly spoke to me in its own simple way.  It aligned with the thing that my father had always told me about work and career.  He said that he would rather have me be a good ditch digger than a rotten attorney.  At this point, I see how my parents came together and worked together to build a life, all summed up on this little piece of paper and a few words.

Over all of the years that I have worked in various industries and jobs, I know that I have been challenged, not only by my friends, but also at times by myself to answer the question:  "What do you want to be when you grow up?"  I'm sure many of us in this generation have been challenged with these words and I'm equally sure that there have been times that we aren't able to answer this question. 

And this note from the past comes to me today and it all seems to be so much clearer.  It isn't about saying that you will be the best neurosurgeon in the world, although it might be.  It is more about saying that I will be the best that I can be at whatever I am doing ... period. Maybe it is about being the best pastry chef, or artist, or curler.  It need not be something that the world can identify, it is only important that you can identify it. 

I think of Jack.  Jack came to work for me in a lumberyard in Des Moines in 1985-1986.  He'd never worked anywhere before and was challenged intellectually.  I remember that I struggled with teaching him that there was always something to do and that standing around watching others work was not what I needed from him.  After a couple of months, we had figured out that he was the best "sweeper" in the place.  He would start at the beginning of a shift and would clean and sweep continuously until it was time to go home.  He became a great employee.

Then came the day he came in to tell me that he had a chance for a different job.  There had been a position with the West Des Moines schools for a sanitary engineer.  He found out about the job and told them he would be interested and they offered the position to him.  But he needed to tell me that he was going to go somewhere else.  I thought that he was going to have a heart attack.  For me of course, there was only one thing to do, offer him my best wishes and good luck.  That was the right thing to do.  And now, as I think about it, Jack was headed off into his career.  Not a career that a lot of people would think about that way, but one that Jack absolutely would.  I even remember, as he tried to tell me about the job saying, "Oh Jack, you are going to be a Sanitary Engineer", and him explaining to me that I was wrong ... he was going to be a janitor.

The number of years that have passed and the fact that he was a little older than I, tell me that he has probably retired at this point. Unless I miss my bet, he probably retired from the West Des Moines School district as a janitor.  Good for him. 

Sometimes we all get caught up in the terms that the world uses to describe who we are or what we do.  Maybe it is important for all of us to ask ourselves if we are happy, challenged, and comfortable in our job.  Does that make it a career rather than a job?  I'm not sure.  You will each have to think about that.

I have a bunch of examples in my life of people that were very important to me, employed in ways the world would have considered a job, but they considered a career.  My grandfather worked for Keokuk County for close to twenty years - hauling rock and pushing snow in the winter.  I know he considered that a career, not just a job.

Well, I am going to close for the week, just a little more satisfied in the way that I look at what I have done.  There are others that do what I do better, but I am pretty good at it.  It is my career, and it has certainly been a lifeboat for me over the years.  I will bet that there are some of you that feel the same way.

Have a nice weekend.

Value

I have really been thinking about how we determine what a "value" is, or on the other hand, what makes something a good deal?  At a time when the entire world is topsy-turvy over Black Friday or Cyber Monday deals, it really makes me think. 

Added to this is a bit of information my son shared with me last week.  He told me that a large percentage of the "deals" for Black Friday were produced specifically for that day, so I'm curious if they are the same quality and attention to detail that you would get if you bought the same item produced in say - June.  There is part of me that really wonders about that, but I'm also a person who doesn't participate in the craziness of these shopping experiences either.  As my family and friends know, when I need something I will go out and buy it.  When someone tries to advertise to me, typically unless I just happen to need what is being advertised, I will talk myself out of the perceived need for the item.

So, given what I have said above, what is a "value" in my world?  I had to think about this for a while, but I have some really good examples for you.  First, there is the plumber that did work for us last week.  We bought a new stacked high efficiency washer and dryer about a year ago.  It fit into a VERY tight spot in our house.  It has already needed service twice, and then a couple of weeks ago it dumped water on the floor.  Because of all of this I decided that we would move the unit to the basement where it would be much easier to service.  In order to do that, we needed water supply and drainage hooked up in the basement, and as many of you know, I don't do plumbing work.  So, we found a person that seemed reasonable and was willing to work us in around the rest of the things that he had going on.  He came in and looked the work over and quoted us $500.  Again, for the work involved this seemed very reasonable.  The time came for him to do the work and he was on time and very positive throughout the project, and by the way, he did a superb job.  When he was all done he told us that he needed to return some things to Menard's and when he was done he would send us a bill.  The bill came in the mail and I opened it expecting to see $500.  I was pleasantly surprised to see a bill for $454.89.  In my world, that is a value.  Unasked for, not bartered for, just given because it is the right thing to do. 

I watched the complete reverse of this the other day on one of the "car/hot rod" shows.  The principals in the show were doing a complete restoration of a car for a customer and they had quoted $60,000 for the project.  At the end of the project, they were all happy with themselves when they told the customer that the price was $60,000.  Alright, they hit the number, but no big reason to be happy.  They had committed to that number.  Be under by a little bit, 500 or 750 dollars and the customer feels as though they got a bargain.  And just as a final note here, if you are in West Des Moines/Clive/Johnston and looking for plumbing work, or handyman services, a big positive shout out goes to Premiere Property Services in Clive.

Okay, example two.  Sara's birthday was this weekend and one of the things everyone wanted to do was go to the UpDown Lounge in the East Village.  I think I've mentioned this place to you before.  Vintage arcade and pinball machines, full service bar and honestly, geeks as far as the eye could see.  I was really at home in there.  Well, you talk about a value, when we got there they were running a "Buy One Get One" deal on tokens for the machines.  Ten dollars and we got eighty tokens!!!!  I will tell you with honesty, had there been a place that had done that when I was in college, I am pretty sure that I would have figured out how to take my entire paycheck in and I am relatively sure that graduation may have come with as a bit more of a challenge.  Anyway, that really seemed like a value to me.  Oh, and by the way Kansas City, I understand that UpDown is coming your way pretty soon, so be ready.

Finally today, I am going to turn this over a little bit.  Sometimes we don't see ourselves, in our roles as consumers, as having a value.  If you go to Google and ask "What is the lifetime value of a pizza customer", the first link that comes up is Putting the Service Profit Change to Work. This is a pretty good read overall, but it points out that a loyal, happy pizza customer can spend $8000 in a lifetime with a pizza place.  And that of course is an average.  Some families can spend a lot more than that.  But when you stop to buy that pizza, are you really treated like someone that will spend that kind of money there?  Typically we aren't, and typically we don't even think about it.  One of the things that I've tried to teach Andrew and Megan is to think of things at least by the year.  It isn't only $20 per month, it is $240 a year.  And we need to think of ourselves as the kind of consumers that will spend $8000 with a pizza place, or $1800 a year with our cable provider.  We are a value to the businesses that we support, and in turn they can truly provide us value at the same time.  I will spend my money with the UpDowns of the world and the Premiere Propertys -  the companies that see me as a lifetime customer and offer a value in recognition of that, even if it is only the first time that we've ever worked together.  It is fun doing business with people who think about it this way.

Have a great week.

Slumber

I have been traveling back and forth to Marshalltown for the last few weeks.  If you haven't made this drive in a while, or if you have never done it, I would really recommend it.  There are some absolutely beautiful rolling hills and valleys between here and there.  Making this drive is the thing that really got me thinking this week.

In the past I've talked about Spring and the way that the land comes to life.  It is a great time of the year, but this time of the year is equally awe inspiring.  In the last couple of months, the world of agriculture has been absolutely frenetic.  The level of activity has been amazing.  The season has always been this way, but with the size of the equipment in use today, it seems as though giants have taken over the state of Iowa.  Even more so if you are out at night, as much of this equipment can light up football field size patches in the fields.

I remember being in Mixed Choir in High School. When I was a freshman, I sat next to Mark Cavin, a Senior.  We had way too much fun in there, which I am sure Tom Stewart, our director would agree with.  Anyway, one day, Mark came in and sat down, obviously upset about something.  After I pushed him a little, he told me that he had been doing field work the night before, may have fallen asleep for just a moment, made a turn too wide and caught a fence. Now he was going to have to spend a bunch of time that weekend fixing fence.

This is the same way that our agricultural community goes at field work in the fall today - 100% until it is done. The other thing that I remember in those days was that only about half of the students would be in class since they were busy with their families in the fields.  It gave us "townies" a little time off as well as the teachers saw no reason to teach for only half of us.  There were a lot of study periods and movies during that couple of weeks.

Experiencing fall and the beginning of winter fill my thoughts right now.  It is almost like watching a giant recline, taking a big breath and going to sleep.  A big long slumber ... one that will last until next Spring when the whole cycle begins again.  I know there are a bunch of things that still go on, maintenance, planning, buying for the upcoming season, and of course taking care of livestock, but it still seems to me like the whole agricultural world takes a bit of a deep breath and begins a bit of a slumber.  This year, that slumber is a bit more profound as the harvest seems to have been so strong.  Everything settles in to rest in order to come alive again when it awakens. Next time you are out and about, take a look and let me know if you see what I'm seeing.

Okay, let's turn to the Toybox.  There hasn't been much slumbering out there, in fact there has been a lot going on, and I haven't yet told you about the equipment addition that I made earlier this year.  I added a wide belt sander, capable of sanding sixteen inches in a pass, 32" by flipping the piece around.  I am really not sure how I ever got by without it.  I seem to turn to it all of the time now that I have it.

Additionally, I had made the mistake earlier this year of getting rid of my truck.  After a change in employment, I found myself without easy access to a truck.  That was completely unacceptable.  So, in the last month, I fixed that by adding a 2013 F-150 to the family's fleet.  Now we are back in the position of having a vehicle for everyone, no matter how many directions we are going.  And when I need to haul something ... I can.  This is important.

Also coming together at the Toybox is a project that I've been working on for a while.  I have been forming (sounds artistic, doesn't it?) a dining room table out of recycled heart pine and walnut.  The heart pine came from a mill in Peculiar, MO that reclaims old lumber from mills and warehouses and reworks them into usable sizes.  The walnut was wood that my father had milled out of trees in the Sigourney area and they have been with me since we sold mom's house back in the late 80's.  So these things are coming together to form what I think is going to be an absolutely beautiful table, and at this point, I am very happy to announce that I think that it will actually be finished and in place for Thanksgiving which was the request of the person that I am building it for.  I have included some pictures of the pieces as they begin to come together.

Keep your fingers crossed for me that I can get it all done and in place for the feast at Thanksgiving.

Buy Local

As you all know, I am an Iowa boy, born and raised. At this point, unless something drastically changes, I will probably die that way.  So, over the course of my lifetime I have watched a lot of changes throughout this state and the Midwest.  I have watched family farms get big; I have watched little old farmsteads fall to the plow - the land brought back into production, and I have watched unfounded attacks on these farms when companies attack them for being "factory farms" (yes Chipotle, I am talking to you).  But one thing I've watched and thought the most about over the years is the demise of the small town and the businesses that should be and could be thriving there.

I know that a lot of people blame the loss of business in small-town Iowa on large mass merchants coming into and taking business from older established businesses.  I really am not sure that I fully agree with that.  I will give you a couple of examples, one from years ago and one from very recently.

Many years ago, I sold lumber for a living in Des Moines.  At the time, I had a family member selling the same product in my hometown.  In fact, there were times that I would order product for min and he would pick it up, haul it to Sigourney and resell it.  Good for the American free enterprise system.  But, there was a Saturday that I happened to be home and I was sitting in his lumberyard talking (and probably drinking coffee) while he was invoicing customers.  I remember looking at an invoice that he was completing and being shocked by the fact that he was thirty to forty percent higher on the exact product that I was selling in Des Moines.  When I asked about it, he smiled and explained to me that Des Moines was 90 miles away.  Interestingly enough, a couple of years later when my Grandmother bought product for a new garage, it all came on a truck out of the Southside Payless store in Des Moines.  Even with the dollar per mile delivery fee, the local Sigourney yard wasn't willing to match the price.

So, now let's jump forward forty years.  I was in a smaller Iowa community this week, not as small as Sigourney, just not as large as Des Moines.  I've been working on cutting boards at the Toybox that I am donating to YESS (Youth and Emergency Shelter Services) for one of their fund-raisers, and needed small rubber feet to.  I remembered this just as I was passing a True Value hardware store.  Needless to say, I swung in to find what I needed.   I found what I needed - they had one on the peg. I probably would have bought two just to have an extra, but one would be enough.  I took the $3.00 item to the register and was told that I couldn't use my debit card since the actual purchase was under $10.00.  I have to wonder how many times that day that happened.  Since, I wasn't able to purchase what I wanted there, I ended up in Des Moines, at a large hardware store, buying it (and two extras since they had them) for a dollar less than I would have paid in the small community.

So what? You might ask.  I really wonder if the demise of the downtown retail areas in small communities in Iowa is because of large retailers, or because of short sightedness?  If you ever spend time in Maine, you will find that the natives there are fiercely loyal to the local merchants and not only do they not not like large chains coming in from the outside, but choose to refuse to spend their money in those box stores.  Again, I wonder what the difference is?  Is it that Mainers have taken these outsiders on directly when they entered their communities?  Rather than hoping that people would be loyal to the local merchants, have they done the right thing and made sure that there was a reason to shop locally?

When we were worked for Payless in Des Moines and new competitor opened in town, we put together a plan to show that we would never be beaten on basic items.  We matched or beat everything that this new retailer advertised, and we did not lose market share.  We gave up a little profitability, but we never lost our share of the local market.  Then, when our corporate structure told us that we couldn't do that, the minute we quit fighting, we started losing.  People went to check the new place out, and then stayed for selection and price.  We were never going to have selection, but at least we still had them on price.  The Japanese say that business is war, and I really think they may be right. The sad thing is that some of the people in our smaller communities don't understand this, or don't believe it's real.

The Saturday after Thanksgiving has become Small Business Saturday, an opportunity for people to re-discover their local small businesses. There will be a lot of promotion geared to that day all across the country. While it is great to ask customers to focus on the small businesses that live in their neighborhoods during that promotion, it is just as important ... no, it is more important for those same small businesses to consistently focus on their customers and how they shop and what makes it easy for them to buy locally, just as the big chain stores do.

Quit giving our downtowns away.  Stand up, fight, and win.

Second Degree

I don't know about you, but my world has been a whirlwind during these last few weeks.  A lot has happened really quickly and I continue to learn things throughout this process. 

As we all move through life, the people that we count on are those we keep closest to us.  They are those we count as our closest friends and our dearest confidantes.  They are the folks that support us through the tough times and tell us how wonderful we are ... all of the time.  I have leaned on these people in the last three months in ways that I can barely describe.  I will always be thankful to each and every one of them.

In the middle of everything, though, there was something else I learned.  Within this group of closest friends, and it is the same for all of us, we all have the same information.  We all  know about the same open jobs, the same opportunities, and the same things that the rest of the group knows.  I think that it is part of what makes this group really comfortable for us.  It often even seems that this kind of group has its own language.  If you doubt what I say, spend a little time around high school or college students who are close friends with each other.  You will quickly learn that they know their universe very well and those of us on the outside are barely able to understand their language, either spoken or written.

Okay, now comes the part that was most interesting for me.  It is not necessarily from within this group of our closest friends, that the most unusual, wide-ranging opportunities come from when you are in the middle of a job search.  The most interesting leads come from the friends of your friends, or maybe even one level beyond that.  Now you may ask why I think this is true.  I believe that it is because as you go out into the levels of relationship, that is the point that you find people who are operating in completely different circles.  They are just like all of the rest of us, they have friends and acquaintences that they count on, the only difference is that their sphere of influence comes from a different overlap with the person whom we know quite well.

So, through this comes the power of a tool like Linkedin.  This is a place that glories in the layers of relationships beyond our closest friends.  It is about your entire network, all of the levels and all of the things that those levels know.  I have thought about the connections that are out there, but I have not spent enough time growing those relationships.  It is something for me to work on going forward because now I understand that within these levels are found ideas that are different than those I typically find in my circle of close friends. 

Once I begin to assimilate these new and fresh ideas from the extended network, I need to come back to my closest friends, who will help me think through what to do with them.  Well, that is what I have been thinking about this week.  I really need to figure out the best way to ask all of these smart, interconnected people questions so that I start with the widest range of possible solutions to the things that I face.

How about the Toybox?  Well, I am up to my armpits in projects.  First, there is a bunch of work we are doing for YESS for their upcoming Human Foosball tournament.  Oh, and by the way, if you have not yet signed up, there are still just a few slots open for your team and it should really be a good time.  Lets all work to make Max's event a monstrous success.  Then, I finally got the call that the lumber is ready for Terri's table.  This needs to be done for Thanksgiving.  Wow, that is really just around the corner.  We will just have to see what is possible.  You all know of course that I want this to be beautiful.  Then after that I have cutting boards to do for YESS and some for a curling bonspeil in Maine.  Looks to me like sleep may truly be optional between here and the end of the year.  Actually though, I am very excited about all of the work.  Keep your fingers crossed that I get it all done.

Have a GREAT week

Law of the Lid

As you know, I start thinking about things and then later in the week you all get to go through the thought process with me. This week I've been thinking about the Law of the Lid.  I know you can go out and Google this, but I'm going to explain what this means to me. My understanding is this: It is impossible for an organization to surpass the level of the leader.

So, if you have an organization that is led by a person that is a 6 on a scale of 10, the law would tell you that the organization will never be any more than a 6.  I have to tell you, I spent my early management years not truly believing this.

What changed?  When I was at Payless, we had a store in the region that just couldn't gain any traction.  The manager was a nice enough person and we had "stacked" the team in there with some of the best people that we had in the region.  And still, the store would not flourish.  After many visits and a great deal of angst, we decided that the problem was with the manager.  Not that he was bad, he was just not the best.  One of the best indicators of this was that in the middle of everything else, we lost a really top-notch assistant manager there for no real reason.  He just wanted to go to a different store.  We made the decision to change out the manager in that store and almost overnight, the everything changed. Customers seemed to appear from nowhere and the sales accelerated to a level not before known.

A couple of weeks ago, Fred Hoiberg, Iowa State's head coach spoke to our Rotary.  He was very interesting and a good story teller as well.  The story that went the farthest with me, though, was about when his years as a professional basketball player.  He told about a year that the team struggled, winning barely half of their games.  The coach had been a task master, focusing on the little things, even when things went well.  The following year, the only thing that changed was the head coach.  The new coach took the position that the players were professionals and should go out and do their job. Guess what? The team won virtually all of their games that year. 

With this background, what have I really been thinking about this week?  I wonder if the Law of the Lid applies to our educational system?  And even more than that, does it apply in a couple of ways.  First, is our system putting people in charge that limit the degree that an individual school, and therefore the children in the school can be successful?  It seems to me that in education, the people that come to the most senior levels of the organization are there only based upon seniority.  I wonder if this is best for the students, or is it applying a "lid"?

The second thing that I wonder is if things like "common core curriculum" and "No child left behind" are adding a lid.  Are we limiting the children that can truly fly based upon the way our system works?  I completely agree with everything that these programs are trying to accomplish, but I wonder if we are actually pulling the group down?  So, when we teach or train to the "lowest common denominator," are we limiting the way that the rest of the group can soar?  I have spoken here of education, but we see this in business all of the time in the way that we bring employees up to speed on a new procedure, or roll out a new program.  The odds are that there are people in the affected group that could do more with the new training than ever imaginable, but because we are teaching and training in such a way that a lid is applied, we will never see it.  I really wonder what would happen if we took the position that we were managing professionals and that they know the right thing to do.  Just like the team that Coach Hoiberg played on, the results could amaze.

Well, that is probably enough from me today.  I certainly don't have all, or maybe any, of the answers.  It seems to me like it is time to get smart people around a table and decide what the right thing to do is, and then get out there and do it.  I can tell you that from my perspective, I want to be able to work with and hire people that are elevens on a ten scale.  That is the way that you really move a team forward.  Make sure that your lid is never an obstacle.  And, if the time ever comes when you recognize that you are in the way of your team, figure out how to make a lateral move and get out of their way.  I know that I never want to be "the lid."

Have a great week.

Crystal Bullet

As it does in so many weeks, this topic has floated around in my head all week long, and then, just so the world reminds me that this is really what I wanted to talk about, out of the clear blue sky, the person who taught me this concept called this morning. Thanks Gene for the call and the push to action.

When I was in training, doing a lot of stand up presentation, I anguished over the fact that at the end of any presentation I knew there were people who just didn't get it.  You could tell by the look in their eyes and the questions they asked that they weren't there yet.  On the other hand, you could also tell when someone had that moment of clarity when they not only understood the concept, but owned it in a way they could use it back on the job.  I once asked Gene (my boss at the time) about this because he had done the job a lot longer than me. He explained to me this way: When you are teaching or training, you are "shooting" the person with the information that you want them to understand, embrace, and ultimately use.  Sometimes, they aren't ready to learn and the information just goes right on through (yes - in one ear and out the other).  But sometimes you have the crystal bullet.  You present the information just right, and they're ready to receive. It goes in, bounces around, and sticks.  You have true teaching at that point.

This concept has been part of my understanding for the better part of 25 years, and there have been moments when it has come back loud and clear.  There have also been times that I seemed to let it slip from my consciousness. But it's always been there.  And, as those of you that follow my blog know, I was thinking about it earlier this week, and I have continued to think about it.  This morning just helped to push me over the edge, in two ways.  The first was Gene.  The second was an acquaintance at Rotary.

After our meeting this morning, I sat down with someone that I have been trying for over a month to find time to speak with.  The problem has been completely mine.  I needed to reschedule each and every time and Jennifer has been generous enough to go along with all of these changes.  Anyway, the conversation was good this morning, covering the various corners of our collective worlds. And as happens so often, we discovered that we are connected in a very close and direct way.  This time it was through my niece, Mattia.  I never expected that one, but in the middle of the conversation we found it. 

Anyway, the crystal bullet in the conversation was about how we are all so interconnected.  The way that we know each other and the way that we all connect over time and distance.  It was a good conversation and Jennifer spoke to me about going through her career search and that found her current position through people she knew.  It completely reaffirmed for me the fact that getting to know people and allowing them to get to know me is the best way to live.

Then, after the chance to connect and have a cup of coffee, I came home to a call from the person who taught me about all of this so many years ago.  On top of that, he wanted to tell me that another mutual friend of ours, someone I've worked for in the past, has just bought a company up here. Well, at least the company that he works for has, and they will be looking for some good folks in this part of the world.  I hope this will be an opportunity to begin paying back all of the kindness that I have received in the last month.  I'm sure there is an opportunity to partner here and help good people strengthen a good company.

Finally today, just a note from the Toybox.  I have started work on a dining room table that I am crafting for some friends and am very excited the project is starting to come together.  I roughed out the legs on the lathe last weekend and will be working to finished shaping them over the next few days.  Then, hopefully, the company that has sold me the distressed heart pine, will finish their part, so I can begin work in earnest on the top.  They want the table by Thanksgiving. I'd have a lot to be thankful for that day if the table is done and in place.  More fun and pictures to come.  After that, I have some pieces to complete for a Curling Bonspiel in Maine, and I need to get some items ready for YESS for one of their fund raisers.  Lots going on here.

Have a great weekend.  We will talk next week.

A HA Moment

This isn't my regular (mostly) weekly post, just something I had to share while it was still on my mind.

In the last couple of days, I truly had something strike me that others have been trying to tell me for years.  I guess the timing and personal inclination were just right.  I just had to share this with all of you.

Yesterday I had a breakfast meeting with a gentleman who is a career coach.  One of our mutual connections suggested that it would be a good idea and also joined us to make the introduction. It was a good meeting. 

In the middle of the conversation, he suggested that I should be journaling throughout the career search that I find myself in.  People have told me for years that I need to do this and I've regularly ignored that recommendation.  But on this morning, in this conversation, I finally asked why he felt it was important and he gave me a great explanation.  He pointed out that people process thousands of words about multiple topics mentally, but when you write, you have to slow down and focus. It naturally causes you to go deeper in your thought process.  That made sense to me. After all these years, it finally makes sense and I had something concrete to hang on to.  Fascinating.

Fast forward to this morning and in the middle of a whole different conversation with a friend, all I can think about is that he should be writing and then using that platform as an entry into the world of professional speaking.  And, at the same time (you know - the mind can capture thousands of words about multiple topics - that's what I was doing) I also considered why I wouldn't entertain the same idea somewhere along the line, so maybe there will be a book from me somewhere in the not horribly distant future.

Anyway, just thinking today and needed to share.  More later in the week.

Iowa-Centric

I know that I have a tendency to repeat myself, but sometimes something comes up that is worth mentioning again, and this is one of those.  Today I want to take a moment to point out and be grateful for the way that people from the Midwest, and especially Iowa, treat each other.  In the same vein, I will give a nod of the cap to Maine, because when I've spent time out there with my sister Jaye, I've found Mainers to be very similar - they just speak a little funny.

In the last month, as I've looked for where my next passion will lie, I have run into some of the most genuinely nice people that you would ever have the opportunity to meet.  Folks have gone out of their way to introduce me to others and make sure that I am receiving everything that I need to move forward.  In several situations, people have taken time to come to a meet-up they suggested just to personally handle the introduction and ensure that the meeting got off on the right foot.  How amazing is that?

My family and I have moved six or seven times since the kids were born and we have also lived separately for a couple of extended periods.  Everywhere that we've been, we had the good fortune to meet great people and live in nice neighborhoods.  But in all of those moves, I knew I would find my way back to Iowa.  It was always about the people and the way they are interconnected.

I have to share an example.  My first day or so in this new endeavor, I had lunch with a businessman I've known for several years.  The meeting was scheduled before any of this change occurred.  I told him what had happened, and that I was exploring several options, including buying a business.  Without hesitation, he took out a pen, and on a napkin at the restaurant, wrote the contact info for an accountant and attorney I should speak with.  What an amazing gesture.  Now, fast forward 5-6 weeks to earlier this week.  My phone rang and it was the same acquaintance, wondering how things were going.  I got him up to speed, telling him that I've been working with his accountant as we look at the business purchase.  Then he tells me that he has been thinking about it and knows another person I should meet as part of my networking.  Today ... plans are made for coffee, all three of us, early next week.  This is true generosity ... Iowa values ... the right way to take care of people.

Now for the flip side of the way things work.  As you might know, I am pretty good in the kitchen.  Not brilliant, but I do all right.  Well, the day before Thanksgiving, I will be "lecturing" on sugar cookies at at the home of a man I met just this last month. I've never been to his home before.  How does this happen? As you meet new people and get to know them, all of a sudden there is a discussion about cookies and the next thing that occurs? Signed up as a guest lecturer ... on how to make sugar cookies.  We will have a ball, and trust me, I'll be making a bunch of sugar cookies between how and then. But that experience continues to point at the way that we are here.  We introduce you to others that can help your career AND invite you over to make cookies.  Like the sign on the way into my hometown said, "Just Naturally Friendlier."

If you're reading this from another state or another country (because the reporting shows that there are some of you out there), tell me about where you live.  I'll include your note in a future blog.  Looking back, about every three months something wonderful happens in Iowa to remind me about this topic, so send your thoughts and I will use them.

On a final note, I have to tell you about my daughter's twenty-first birthday.  I know she felt fully celebrated as the event went from about noon to the end of the day. Friends and family from all over stopped in to see her.

But, what I want to tell you about is a little place that we happened into on Saturday afternoon.  It is in the East Village of Des Moines and is called the Up Down: Des Moines Arcade Bar.  What a blast from the past.  They are a bar, but the fun part is that they have a bunch of classic arcade games as well.  I thought it was 75, but their website says 40, and it's only 25 cents a play.  If you want to play Pacman, Frogger, Galaga, or any of the classics, they are there.  And, to top that off, we got there for their happy hour. Two-for-one tokens.  Oh my, we were in nerd heaven.  So, next time you are in the East Village looking for something to do, I highly recommend Up Down.

Have a great week.

Reset

Many times we reach a point in our lives where we need to re-set the things we've always done.  I find myself at that point right now.  About 4 weeks ago, the decision was made that I would no longer be on the team at DMB Supply.  This came as a bit of a shock, but, we can either let life run over us, or we can get up and decide what will be next.  I have decided that it is WAY too early to let life run over me.

Now, a month into this, I'm here to tell you that I have learned some fascinating things. Well, maybe these are ideas that I have relearned, but they are worth talking about.  So, you are going to join me today as I do exactly that.

First: folks are just genuinely good and really want to help each other.  I've been amazed by the people that have reached out to me to give suggestions, or just a shoulder to lean while I'm in the middle of the job search.  Maybe it's just the part of the world I live in, but that's not all of it.  I have been astounded that people will offer their time and invest energy into helping me find the next connection, or meet the next person that may be the one with the perfect job.  The energy that some of these folks have put into this is amazing, and I will never be able to say thank-you enough.  I will just have to remember how wonderful they have been to me.  More about that later.

Second: if you ever wonder what the power of your personal network is, find yourself in a reset.  That is one of those times when you need to reach out to the folks you've met through a lifetime, no matter how long or short, and ask for their help.  So, what this really means for each one of us is that we should constantly be working on the network that we have in place.  Authors and speakers within the business world often talk about the need for, and the power of networking, but interestingly enough, they don't always cite one important facet ... it is fun.  It is a joy to get to know someone new.  I recently met a person who grew up in Southwest Iowa, half a state from where I lived, but as we sit here today, I feel that I know him well enough, that if we ran into each other at an event, like the State Fair (because everyone goes there) we would actually stop and talk.  I met another young man just the other day, who is going fishing on the Skunk River and told me about how people in Keokuk county were pretty protective of "their" river. Some things around Sigourney never really change. I know exactly who he was speaking about and told him to use my name the next time he ran into those guys. Networking at its best.

Finally - thinking about how to ever say thank-you enough to those who have stepped up: This experience has impressed on me - one more time - the necessity of paying it forward.  The people who are helping me right now will probably never need this exact kind of help from me, so it would be impossible to repay their kindness directly, but they get that.  In fact, they don't even think about that.  All that is important to them is that they are helping me, and when someone else reaches out to me over the coming months or years, I will do the same thing.  I will help.  That is what we do.  Honestly, it comes so naturally, and gets easier all the time.  So, we continue to take care of each other and be happy with the fact that we made someone's life better in the end.

So, that's what is going on in my world lately.  We are going through a reset and I have confidence that when all is said and done, I will come out on the other side, doing something fun that will let me make another company better and give me the chance to help others.  I remember back to the late days of Payless Cashways, when we were all working to help others land in a better place in the world, after the bankruptcy.  Then, when the last of us left the organization, there were a ton of folks that were out there ready to help us.  Once again, in the middle of this reset I find myself so thankful for the friends that I have, and the acquaintances that surround me.  Thanks so much to all of you.

One final note - my daughter turns 21 this weekend.  Do you just wonder where the time goes?  That is another thing that I'm thinking about today.  Send me back some of your thoughts on the subject.

Cascading

Does it ever happen to you?  Every single time I start a project, either at work or at home, it happens to me.  Are you curious, yet?  Let me explain with an example.  I need to replace a wax ring on the toilet in the basement of the house.  Simple enough, right?  Oh no.  Since I am going to have to pull the toilet I might as well think about what else needs to happen.  Well, honestly, I've wanted to replace the shower with something a big larger.  So I need to hire someone to come in, pull the shower, and tile the area for the bigger shower.  After all of that work is complete, the vanity will look tacky and need to be replaced. The paint on the wall outside the bathroom will be old and discolored since everything in the bathroom is now fresh and new.  Get the picture?  The next thing that I know, I am replacing the doorbell button on the front door as a result of needing a new wax ring for the toilet.  How does this happen?  How do we stop it?

Whether we call it creep, or mushrooming, or cascading, it just happens.  Keeping the scope of a project in check is difficult.  This is the same whether at work or home.  I really believe that it all starts with complete clarification of the project, probably best captured in writing.  The other critical issue is to make sure that you have the right people involved in the decisions.  I know of multiple occasions over the years when I thought that I knew the scope of a project, only to find out that I had been very, very wrong.  In starting to consider the downstairs bathroom project, I discovered that my thoughts had been less than complete.

The good part about cascading is that once you know it is going to happen and you embrace the fact that you can't stop it, you can plan for it.  If you take the time, and put the effort in, you will be able to come up with a very complete list of all of the likely items that will be involved.  In my wax ring project for example, I know that there will be demolition, some rough carpentry, tile setting, and painting.  Then come the items that I always add, because it just seems that they happen.  In this case, there will be electrical work and plumbing work, even if, at the beginning, it doesn't seem as if those are an issue.  So, at the end of the planning process, I can have a pretty complete list of all of the things that will be involved. This does get easier as you do more of it.

I bought my first fixer-upper house in 1989.  I was working at Payless at the time and thought I had all of the bases covered.  I'd been through the house, and determined it needed a new roof. I had gotten estimates and commitments from all of the folks that needed to be involved.  Then I bought the place and told them we were ready to go.  Rick Vertz looked at me and said, "You actually bought it?  Ah crap, I never thought that would happen."  The first morning, right off the bat, Rick went through a soft spot in the roof that we didn't know was there.  Twenty-four hours into it, I thought I was living in a war zone because of the way the place looked and wondered if I had lost my head.  At that point I was just beginning to understand the truth of cascading.  Four months later we completed that first project, but as only a good cascading project will go, I had also replaced a furnace and redone part of the main wiring in the house. I was fully immersed in my understanding of the process.

It seems that the best idea is to get comfortable with the fact that a project will go places you can't imagine and plan as well as possible for it.  In the end, hopefully you will end up with a good outcome and all of the work is worth it.  Most, if not all, of the projects I have taken on over the years have come out well.

Okay, enough of that for the moment.  I actually have a Toybox story to tell you this week.

Apparently I've become a collector of extraneous lumber and wood from the people I know.  In the last few weeks I have received two separate phone calls to tell me that someone has wood product they don't know what to do with and don't want to throw away.  There are those of you who are forever agonizing over animals that need a home.  You read about a rescue animal on Facebook and will do anything possible to reach out and help.  Well, apparently I am the same about wood.  I just can't stand to see it go to a "bad home" or worse yet, be disposed of.  If anyone is looking for a very nice bunkbed built out of red oak, or a 4X8 piece of MDF with laminate on one side, laid up to be used for the front of a cabinet, call me. I have both of these things.  I am the collector of distressed, or extra, wood products. Given time, I will turn these products into something else.  However, if someone can make a good home for them as they are, I would be happy to see that work.  Think about it, maybe you could use a handmade oak bunk bed.

Pickle Dish

Isn't it amazing how the tiniest moment in a day will bring back a flood of memories that make you really consider the singular moment and its relationship to those memories.  This happened to me this week when I found myself thinking about my Grandma Jo's pickle dish.

Any time we had a family gathering at my grandparent's home, a ritual was involved in everything: where people sat, what time people arrived, what food they brought to share, in what dishes they brought it (another story sometime), and the dishes we used to serve food at the "big" table.  I had quite honestly never thought of it.  I just knew that when we were setting up for a meal, you opened the sideboard and there were certain dishes used for certain things.

And then, in the late eighties a new person entered the mix - Sara.  The first time we went to something at Grandma's, the table was set as usual. Things were where they belonged. Though the dishes hadn't been filled yet, we all knew what went where.  About then, Sara came to me with the pickle dish cradled in her hands.  She asked if I knew what is was.  My answer was as sure as the rising of the sun - it was the pickle dish.  What kind of crazy question was this?

Sara explained to me that this was a crystal dish that had probably come over from pre-war Europe and it would be a shame if we accidentally broke it.  That completely changed the value of the dish for me. It went from a common pickle dish to something that needed to be treasured and set aside. So, with this new found information, I went to Grandma to ask if maybe we should rethink the decision about using this, now valuable to me, dish for the meal at all.  Grandma answered as only she could, telling me that it was only a dish, that we put pickles in it. She explained that if we didn't use it, it would have no value at all.  She went on to tell me that if it broke we would find something else to put the pickles in.  Okay, there was something to think about.

Since then, there have been a couple of times in my life that by many current standards, I had very little in the way of wealth or personal belongings, or even personal security.  I remember when we closed Payless Cashways and I was looking for a job. I wasn't having much luck and was so worried about things - money, the house, all of it.  But when I talked to my kids about that period of time, they said that what they remembered was that dad was home and they got to have hot breakfast every day.  Perspectives, eh?

Something in this last week made me think about all of this.  Not really just the pickle dish, but the conversation with my grandmother.  When she pointed out to me that if you had something and did not use it and enjoy it, there was really no value there, I learned a lesson.  It wasn't a long conversation, but it was powerful and I know that it molded the way that I moved forward.  I also know that there are times that it frustrates those around me.  Life isn't really about stuff, and the things that it is about should be important to you on a daily basis.  I know there had to be a story around that piece of crystal, but I never heard it. That wasn't important to her.  The importance that pickle dish held was when her family got together, they would used it to pass the pickles around the table.

So, what do I do with this today?  I continue to talk about enjoying the things and the opportunities we have.

Take a day and eat on the good china, or wear your best dress to the grocery store.  If it makes you smile, then why wouldn't it be a good thing to do?

I remember what this looks like, it was the joy on Grandma Jo's face when she finally sat down at the dining room table to enjoy a meal with her family.  It was the joy of passing the pickle dish around, not because of its intrinsic value, but rather because of what it meant in Grandma Jo's world.

A quote from Seth Godin in the last week or so, "Here's conventional wisdom:  Success makes you happy. Happiness permits you to be generous.  In fact, it actually works like this:  Generosity makes you happy. Happy people are more likely to be successful."

Go out and find some joy, even if nobody else even sees it.

Peace Officers

Depending on your age, you might call them cops, police, the fuzz, or pigs; but I call them peace officers and I think that we ask more of them today than ever before. I grew up in a County Attorney's home and one of the places I played as a child was the county jail.  When there were people around my kitchen table in the evening, there was a better than even chance that at least one of them was a peace officer.  When it was time for me to learn to drive, my mother didn't handle the duty.  She asked our Sheriff, J. "Bud" Wallerich if he would take care of it.  Bud taught me to drive by showing up at my grandparent's home one Saturday morning.  He loaded me in the driver's seat of the squad car, took me out driving for about three hours and when we returned he announced to a relatively panicked Betty, "Don't worry, he can drive."  This was the kind of relationship I had with the peace officers in my community.

The interesting thing for me is that when I was a youth, and did something wrong, our local officers reprimanded me personally, in private, rather than using the law. I thought that it was because of who my parents were.  With time and distance, I've come to think of it very differently.  I believe that it was because they knew me as a person, a relatively responsible young person. Because of that, if I found myself in a bit of a jam, they helped me out.  Now (and remember I am a child of the 60s and 70s), if I had been out marching, protesting and throwing rocks, and these same people knew that, I am pretty sure their treatment would have been different.  Aren't we all like that? If someone treats us with disrespect, it jaundices the way we think about them.

So, you may ask me what led me to these thoughts today.  There have been a couple of things that I heard lately.  First, a story about a little girl, who when asked what she was going to be when she grew up, her answer was, "In jail."  Wow. She's only known the dark side of life. The second thing was a plea to tell our children that police were to be trusted and were our friends.  I was blown away by both of these, thinking that this really is the way we are training our children.  When I grew up, you always knew that if you were in trouble, you could find a peace officer and they would help make things better.

Not so very long ago, when soldiers returned from overseas, they were jeered at and even spit upon.  Fortunately those days are behind us.  Now, generally, if someone sees a soldier they look at them with respect.  It is not uncommon to be in a plane and see someone in first class offer their seat to a traveling military person.  I've seen this twice in my own travels over the last year or so.  During the same time, the way that we treat our peace officers seems to have gone the other way.  We don't treat these people with the respect they deserve and then wonder why they don't live up to the standards we want to hold them to.  One activity feeds the other and we need to break out of the cycle we have begun.  In an emergency, one of the first people who will rush into it to are your local peace officers and we need to appreciate that now ... when they do it ... and afterwards.  

The next time you are at HyVee and one of the members of the local force is eating lunch, smile and say hello.  Talk to your kids about them being the "good guys" and people you can count on. Show your kids what respect looks like. It will be amazing how that will actually help to make it even truer than it is today.  It only takes a little change to start making a big difference.

In honor of TBT, I am including a picture of Bud Wallerich.  He is in the middle.  He is the man who taught me to drive, and when I was laid up with a really bad leg injury, he came to my house and taught me leather craft so I would have something to do.  Our peace officers still have this kind of passion for the people they serve today. We just have to help release it by giving them the respect they deserve ... as humans and as peace officers.

Holding Court

There are times I love living in a smaller community, not because things are all that different, but because it is just easier to see what's going on.

Today I'm thinking about the group of older men you typically find in a coffee shop, breakfast place or even a convenience shop - just talking about the world.  I like to refer to this as "holding court." There is always one gentleman who is in charge of the group. Others gather round, but he is the focal point.

Two great examples.  A week ago today, I had to run up to Shell Rock, Iowa, to meet with a customer.  On the way, we stopped in Albion because Brian needed coffee and I needed to stretch.  We stopped at the Casey's because, well, that is the only choice in Albion.  Upon entering the store, we encountered all of the things that you would expect in a Casey's, plus one.  In the back of the store by the coolers, was a group of about 5-6 men who had actually built themselves places to sit out of cases of beer.  They were in a circle and were completely engaged in the happenings and politics of the town. The person who sat the farthest back had probably arrived first, and was in charge of the direction and pace of the rhetoric.  I found myself wondering about the group, so on my way out, I asked the lady at the register about them.  She said that she'd only worked there three years, but in that entire time, they were there virtually every morning for a couple of hours. The membership changed throughout the day and had changed over the years, but the group was always there.  So, this must be a small town phenomenon, right?

Fast forward five days.  I went to Kansas City for a meeting and stayed with my son and his wife (okay, that is still taking some getting used to).  They'd been great hosts and offered me the coffee maker before I headed out the next morning, but I didn't want to figure out a new/different pot.  So, even though it is not my way, I stopped at Starbucks.  And what should I find at this relatively metropolitan Starbucks?  You guessed it.  A group of men sitting at tables on the patio having a very similar conversation to the one I'd overheard in Albion.  In the middle of the group, there was most certainly a dominant individual.  It was hilarious to listen to them, because the conversation was the same as I'd heard earlier that week.  Local color and politics and how the world could be fixed.

So, I have to ask, is this a universal human behavior?  Is it somehow etched into our DNA?  As I ask this question, I think backwards.  When my kids were swimming, they had a tendency to draw people around them to talk and laugh and be together.  Just like the men who came together in Albion and at Starbucks.  Thinking further back, I remember that I always had a favorite place to eat breakfast wherever we lived. In Lees Summit, it was Neighbors; In Des Moines it was Boswell's; in Humboldt it was the restaurant on the north side of the street in Dakota City (I can't remember the name); and finally, in Sigourney it was Jack's Town House Cafe.

I went to the Town House with my Grandfather for breakfast and he always sat on the same stool at the counter and they always had his breakfast ready for him when he sat down.  He had already worked the room, making sure to talk to everyone before he even got to the stool.  He probably perfected the concept of "holding court" while moving around.  And when we were done with breakfast, he always knew everything that was happening in the community.

If I stop and actually get honest with all of you, I might have to admit that I've probably instigated some of this as well in my own time.  In high school, we all sat at the same table in the same seats every day. We talked about what was happening that day and what had happened the night before (probably even MORE important).  Then in college, there was a group of us who met at the same time and the same table every day for meals.  There were typically others who joined on a hit or miss basis, but the core was always there.  If someone missed a gathering, we followed up to make sure nothing was wrong.

Maybe this is all the equivalent of the early tribal council and the way that information was passed from member to member.

So, do you suppose that this goes back to the time of cavemen?  Is this so ingrained in us that we do this to cope with life that comes at us?  Is this something that those of us who don't participate are really missing out on?  I have so many questions and so few answers.  I do think it is worth more research though and I would like to know what you see and what you think.  Let me know where you see groups like this and what you think they are talking about.  If you are the member of this type of group, tell me a little about who you are and I will share.  Let's get to the bottom of this cultural phenomenon.

It's Included

There are times when I realize I've been in the business world far too long.  It has caused some skepticism in me and worse yet, it's splashed all over my family.

The other day I received an offer from Menard's showing all of the wonderful things I could get "For Free" just by coming in the store.  Now, admittedly, these were all items you paid for and then after submitting paperwork you would receive a rebate, but that isn't the issue.  I will accept that full rebates equal "free."  But, and here comes the skeptic, I just don't believe that free always means free. You see, I know that someone somewhere did the math for Menard's and calculated the percentage of people who will purchase those items yet never return the rebate paperwork.  Additionally, they've crunched numbers to determine how many extra people this advertising will drive to the store and how much extra those people will spend. They probably even think they know how many new ideas those people will get and then need to come back to the store to satisfy those "needs".  Free. Sure it is.

These things are not free, they are included.  Built somewhere into the overhead of the organization and in the way that they come to market, the cost of the items given away is offset by perfectly good money we have already given them, even if we have no intention to do so.

The most perfect example is the box of facial tissues on the bedside stand in the hospital.  I dare you to look through the itemized bill the hospital will give you (on request, mind you) and find the line item that calls out the amount charged for this box of tissues.  It won't be there.  But in between the lines that you can read, buried in a higher price for something else or some type of overhead, the cost of that box of tissues is buried.  But in just as real a way as if they charged you for it, the hospital is getting the money out of you for this item.

So my family now jokes about this.  It is not free ... it's included.  This has become a kind of a rallying cry for us and it is amazing how many times this has come into play.  You are in a restaurant that offers free refills.  No, they have really just figured how many refills they think the average person will drink and added that to the cost.  You get a free buffet at the casino - do I even need to explain?  I know there are thousands of people who fight the crowds on Black Friday to get deals and free stuff.  I sit at home and buy what I need online and let them deliver it to my door.  And yes, I can hardly wait for the drones to start delivering. I know that I will be paying for that, but really, how cool.

We always need to remember that our nation was truly built on a profit model concept.  It's what makes capitalism work.  Things just don't happen without there being a profit in it, somewhere, or somehow.  Or, if they do, it isn't for long. Short of true philanthropy, there has to be a profit to keep things going.

Now I know this may make me sound like a cynic; actually, I believe it makes me a realist.  You always need to think about all of the things that you are actually really paying for and behave accordingly.  If the place where you are having dinner has free refills on soft drinks, make sure that you have many more refills than you believe the average person could drink, or drink water at no additional cost.  If you go to the "All You Can Eat Buffet," make sure that you do.  If a dealer of any kind offers to throw something in you really don't need, ask them for the price without the extra and make sure they know you understand that you would have been paying for that extra something before.

The last thing I want to leave you with today are those things that are truly free.  The smile from a spouse or a child when you do something nice for them; the tear that comes to the eye of a friend when you honestly show you are interested in what is happening with them.  The heartfelt thank you that comes from someone with an armload of groceries that you hold the door open for.  These are things that are truly free and given freely.  It happens every day, but so often they go past us without as much as a passing thought.  I would tell you to stop and think about them.  We live in a world filled with truly nice people and sometimes we need to just slow down and listen to find this out.

Don't look for the next freebie - it is really included; look for the next selfless act that someone does for you, and recognize the true value in it.

There, I am done for the day.

Doc Miller (s)

This last week, Sara, Megan and I have spent time at the University of Iowa Hospitals. Quite a bit of that time has been spent with Dr. Miller, Megan's orthopedic surgeon.  He is, without a doubt, a gifted physician and surgeon. He is also someone we have been fortunate to know and the Midwest is lucky to have him.

Interestingly enough though, I began thinking about some of the doctors I've had in my life and it almost speaks to the way that the profession has changed.  One of the first doctors that I remember is "old" Doc Miller.  When I was a child and doctors still made house calls, this man was the one who came when we were sick.  He was, by my reckoning, older than the hills.  But this wasn't the thing that amazed me.  Dr Miller was a pipe smoker and the first thing he did on coming into my room for an examination was to put his pipe in his pocket, STILL LIT.  I know that during the exam he poked and prodded and asked questions, but the truth is that I couldn't quit thinking about that pipe.  When was he going to explode into flames?  I just could not even imagine how you would put fire in your pocket and have it be okay.  Every single time he did this, he completed the exam, made whatever pronouncements that he needed to make, reclaimed his pipe and left the house without incident.  I remember thinking that this just couldn't be possible.  But it was, time and time again.  Interesting for this to be one of my first memories of the medical profession.

Then came Dr Rodowieg in Spirit Lake, Ia.  We used to spend the month of June in the Iowa Great Lakes area.  Each summer, Dr Rodowieg would do our annual physicals making sure that we were healthy. Although he was a multiple pack-a-day smoker, he told his patients that smoking wasn't good for them.  In 1969, we were at the lake when the Food and Drug Administration banned the artificial sweetener Cyclamate from use in foods and most importantly, diet pop.  The news quickly filled with the fact that lab rats subjected to Cyclamate developed cancerous tumors and died.  Mom was, of course, beside herself.  We immediately went to see Dr Rodowieg, who calmly explained that the rats had ingested the equivalent of 350 cans of diet pop a day.  When mom logically asked the doctor what she should do to protect the health of her family, Dr Rodowieg calmly explained to her that he was buying up every case of the product he could find at bargain basement prices as everyone tried to get rid of it.

Next in the line worth remembering was Dr Gann.  He was a lifelong friend of the family and he always worked to take really good care of us.  Again, it was a different time.  One summer to help me lose weight, because yes, this has been an issue my whole life, he prescribed amphetamines.  Well, the weight fell off, but I spent the whole summer not only weak from losing all of the weight, but really owly since I was only sleeping a few hours a night.  But this isn't the thing that I remember best about Dr Gann.  That would be Eleanor.  I know, without a doubt, that she put a hook on the end of every syringe she used.  I've never had anyone give me a shot that hurt like that.  And, mom was a big believer in flu shots, so once a year, in we went.  Jaye and I would nearly come to blows over who had to go first.  Anything that you could do to put off the inevitable, even for a few moments was worth the effort.  I know that we were receiving good care, but damn it hurt.

This really only gets me up through the 80s, but as I think about it, those were the physicians that to me were the biggest "characters." One thing they had going for every one of us was that they knew us for a long period of our lives, and they were responsible for the totality of our health care.

Nowadays, no matter what you do in the health care area, there is a team to care for you.  Some of these people you will know, and some will be far behind the scene running tests and providing information.  On occasion though, you still find someone that is more like Doc Miller, or Ed Gann, or Dr Rodowieg.  You find someone that has all of the technical expertise and all of the science that is medicine today, and on top of that, they get to know the patient as a person and they really care about them.

The "new" Dr. Miller at the University of Iowa is one of those people. He is a brilliant technical doctor and a very compassionate human being.  I am thankful that we were fortunate enough to meet him at a time that we really needed him.

Take a moment and think back through some of the doctors you have had over the years.  Do you have stories?  Are you willing to share?

Life Value

Sometimes when we're in the middle of doing something that is just a normal part of our job, we discover that great discovery comes from a singular moment. Such was the situation for me last week. I had an opportunity to speak with someone that up until that point I didn't have time to get to know. Let me clarify that. It was my perception of time ... or the lack of it that led me to that point, but that's something I'll get back to.

Throughout our conversation, I discovered that this person was deployed with our military for a period of time.  I was fascinated as I learned about a work environment and a life that I've never experienced.  I have no military background, and though I might have wondered whether it was a mistake or not, it is sure nothing that I can do anything about at this point.  Anyway, when I asked what had been the most important learning that came from this experience, the answer was unexpected.  This person told me that they believed that they valued their own life more now than ever before.

I've written about the frailty of life before, but took me down an entirely different path.  This is truly the idea that when I wake up and greet the morning, I need to remember first and foremost, that I am alive for another day.  Now, if I am completely honest with you, there are too many times that the first thing I think about is how my back hurts, or how much I would like to roll over and go back to sleep.  Okay, those may remain secondary thoughts and I'll never get rid of them, but I need to start with thankfulness for the day. Period.

And this brings me back around to thoughts on my perception of time.  Every single day, it feels as though I am challenged for every minute.  At work, I am constantly bombarded by things coming at me - questions, decisions, problems, you name it.  At home my life is filled with things I need to do and want to do for my family, my friends and for myself.  But because I am so focused on not having time for things and I concentrate on just getting through the day, I know that I often miss wonderful opportunities.

These thoughts and this moment of self-discovery happened because I had to take the time to talk with someone that I didn't know.  I need to force myself to take more time to do that.  In the past, even if by simply saying hello to someone I don't know, I've told my kids that I continue to work on being more outgoing.  It looks to me like I need to redouble that effort.  I need to keep focusing on each day as the blessing that it is and remember that even the hardest thing that I have to do in a day, I actually get to do.

Okay, enough of this, I need to get busy and use the day that I have in front of me.

Might as well ...

A few years ago, I wrote a blogpost entitled "Tripod" about how a friend believed that the ability to have fun was like a three legged stool.  In order to make the stool stand (have fun) you needed to have creativity, spontaneity, and a positive cash flow.

This last weekend, I met a group of gentlemen who taught me the next verse: "Might as well ..."

Last Friday through Sunday, I had the good fortune to attend a weekend of training around the woodworking skills.  Weekend with Wood was sponsored by Wood magazine and the venue was at Meredith Corporation. I'm not sure of the final numbers, but it seemed as though there were about 500 people in attendance  We had the opportunity to enroll in six different classes with instructors and professionals brought in to help us learn or hone our skills.

Tommy Mac, the host of Rough Cut Woodworking on PBS, spoke after Saturday night's dinner.  The food and presentation were all great, but the group of men I ended up sitting with made the evening so much more fun.  This "gang" of guys were from Michigan and it was obvious that they have known each other for a lifetime.  In the group there is a doctor, and artist, a contractor, and an engineer.  One of the group had won, as a door prize, a week at the Marc Adams School of Woodworking, probably a $750 value without travel. While they were sitting at dinner, these men decided that it was unacceptable for one to go to this class without the others.  It made perfect sense. I'd already discovered that the four of them came to the event together in a motor home that one of them owned.

Then came the problem.  One of the four announced there was no way he could afford the piece of equipment that he had purchased at the event AND go to the woodworking school.  Just for clarity, what he had purchased was a Wood-Mizer - a portable gas powered band saw. It allows someone to turn logs into lumber and they probably costs in excess of $20,000.

The response from the group?  "Might as well ..."

Now, this is where I had to jump in and ask questions.  It was obvious that they all knew exactly what had just been said, but as an outsider, I was baffled.  The group explained to me that if ever, as a group, there was a real question as to if they should do something, it always came down to this phrase.  In their own shorthand they were saying that life is too short to not do the things that bring you joy and happiness.

It is so interesting that I had landed with this group, because in my own way, that's why I was at the event. When I had first seen advertising for the weekend, I'd thought how great the weekend would be. But because I always have trouble with the "cash flow" part of the tripod, I'd decided that I would not do it. Then, many different things happened and people pushed me to go. I also had a little cash come in that wasn't completely spoken for. Without even realizing it, I had landed at "Might as well ..." and ended up at the event to meet the guys who were able to explain it all to me.  Is it not just amazing the way the universe works sometimes?

Okay, just a little more about the weekend and the overall serendipity of it all.  First, I am still nowhere close to attempting to build chairs.  They are just too tough and have way too many angles to them.  Additionally, you have to come up with a way to scoop out the seat to make them really comfortable.  Beyond that, however, I learned all sorts of new tablesaw and bandsaw techniques. I even came to believe that I should look at a SawStop brand saw somewhere along the line.  And with all of the giveaways that Meredith Corporation had for us, at the end of the day I had received more than I paid out for the event.  Wow, just wow.

So, for any of you who are woodworkers, you need to go back and find out information about this year's event and then plan to be there next year.  You will not regret it.