Any time we had a family gathering at my grandparent's home, a ritual was involved in everything: where people sat, what time people arrived, what food they brought to share, in what dishes they brought it (another story sometime), and the dishes we used to serve food at the "big" table. I had quite honestly never thought of it. I just knew that when we were setting up for a meal, you opened the sideboard and there were certain dishes used for certain things.
And then, in the late eighties a new person entered the mix - Sara. The first time we went to something at Grandma's, the table was set as usual. Things were where they belonged. Though the dishes hadn't been filled yet, we all knew what went where. About then, Sara came to me with the pickle dish cradled in her hands. She asked if I knew what is was. My answer was as sure as the rising of the sun - it was the pickle dish. What kind of crazy question was this? Sara explained to me that this was a crystal dish that had probably come over from pre-war Europe and it would be a shame if we accidentally broke it. That completely changed the value of the dish for me. It went from a common pickle dish to something that needed to be treasured and set aside. So, with this new found information, I went to Grandma to ask if maybe we should rethink the decision about using this, now valuable to me, dish for the meal at all. Grandma answered as only she could, telling me that it was only a dish, that we put pickles in it. She explained that if we didn't use it, it would have no value at all. She went on to tell me that if it broke we would find something else to put the pickles in. Okay, there was something to think about.
Since then, there have been a couple of times in my life that by many current standards, I had very little in the way of wealth or personal belongings, or even personal security. I remember when we closed Payless Cashways and I was looking for a job. I wasn't having much luck and was so worried about things - money, the house, all of it. But when I talked to my kids about that period of time, they said that what they remembered was that dad was home and they got to have hot breakfast every day. Perspectives, eh?
Something in this last week made me think about all of this. Not really just the pickle dish, but the conversation with my grandmother. When she pointed out to me that if you had something and did not use it and enjoy it, there was really no value there, I learned a lesson. It wasn't a long conversation, but it was powerful and I know that it molded the way that I moved forward. I also know that there are times that it frustrates those around me. Life isn't really about stuff, and the things that it is about should be important to you on a daily basis. I know there had to be a story around that piece of crystal, but I never heard it. That wasn't important to her. The importance that pickle dish held was when her family got together, they would used it to pass the pickles around the table.
So, what do I do with this today? I continue to talk about enjoying the things and the opportunities we have.
Take a day and eat on the good china, or wear your best dress to the grocery store. If it makes you smile, then why wouldn't it be a good thing to do?
I remember what this looks like, it was the joy on Grandma Jo's face when she finally sat down at the dining room table to enjoy a meal with her family. It was the joy of passing the pickle dish around, not because of its intrinsic value, but rather because of what it meant in Grandma Jo's world.
A quote from Seth Godin in the last week or so, "Here's conventional wisdom: Success makes you happy. Happiness permits you to be generous. In fact, it actually works like this: Generosity makes you happy. Happy people are more likely to be successful."
Go out and find some joy, even if nobody else even sees it.
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