When you read the two words in the title, it’s likely the first thing you think of is a stadium filled with people, rhythmically rising and falling, causing a wave of hands around the stadium. But, that’s not what I am talking about here at all. I am talking about the classic rural Iowa wave, two fingers raised over the steering wheel as you meet oncoming traffic.The phenomenon is amazing. When you get off the Interstate and onto county roads throughout the state, you see this. And part of the amazement is that when you put those of us who were born and raised here back in our own territory, it starts to happen without you even thinking about it. My kids laugh at me because we no more than cross the county line into Keokuk County and I reposition my hands so I am able to raise two fingers to oncoming vehicles. I never really thought about it until a week or so ago, when a person I respect talked at Rotary about going home to Creston and that the minute he gets close, he starts waving at people.
I spent time wondering where this began, and quickly gave up on that. It is obviously a colloquialism that probably has been around as long as people were meeting on the road driving teams of horses. But when I really started mulling it over, my question became more about why than when. As I have thought about it and replayed the action in my mind, I think I have it figured out. When any of us do the wave, what we are really saying is that although I may not know the person I’m waving at, I am in a small enough geographical area that I probably know someone who knows them. This may sound a little crazy to those of you from other areas, but that is really the way we think about it. A cousin and I look a lot alike and I remember years ago being chastised by that cousin for not waving at a friend of his who’d met me on the road. I didn’t wave because it was not someone that I knew, but we are a waving group.
My hometown refers to itself as “Just Naturally Friendlier,” but I really think this holds true for much of Iowa. Just like stories you hear of people at Starbucks who begin a chain of paying it forward by purchasing coffee for the person behind them, waving at strangers has a tendency to brighten a day. You realize that someone took the time to wave at you and then your mind goes through the exercise of who they are or how you might know them. More than likely there is some biological response our system has for this which helps us feel a little better about our day.
Now, with all that said, my encouragement for you is to take the time and the chance to wave at someone. Not that special wave which happens when one driver cuts another off in traffic, but a friendly wave that tells others to enjoy the day. People might look at you funny, but if enough of us do it long enough, we could make a difference. Remember the parable about the mustard seed and plant a wave today.
1 comments:
Jim, interesting post. I suppose an alternative question is why we don’t wave in other circumstances. Obviously, the quick answer is that most of us don’t normally expect to know the person we might encounter next, but I think that answer is too easy. I believe that as our culture has become more electronic, with our emphasis on texting and tweeting, we have also become more separated from each other. We don’t greet people personally because we really don’t want that. We want to be able to communicate only that we have already targeted for communication, and even then on a specific topic of our choosing, and only if it can fit on a tweet or text.
On most days, I take a walk to get some exercise and fresh air. There is a botanical garden and a reservoir within walking distance of my house, and both destinations attract lots of walkers and runners, so I frequently encounter others on my walks. I have decided that it is my mission to try to add a personal touch to the days of the people I encounter, so I try to smile and greet each person I pass. I have noticed that there are five common reactions to my greeting: 1) many people smile and wave back, and some even initiate it before I do, evidently on the same mission; 2) some respond in kind, although it appears that they would not have done so if I hadn’t initiated it; 3) some respond in a startled manner, obviously surprised that someone would attempt to greet them; 4) some have headphones on and don’t even notice my greeting; and 5) some ignore me entirely, walking forward with a grim expression as if they are desperately determined to pretend that I didn’t exist.
Now, it’s possible that some people in the last group just received shattering news or are simply introverts who need some personal space before reengaging the world somewhere else. But, I suspect that many of them are doggedly determined to keep the rest of the world at arm’s length at all times. Personally, I think that’s sad. And, while I recognize their right to keep their distance from me and others, the experience renews my determination to greet them, and at least attempt to brighten their day, even in such a small and brief way. I think the world is a brighter and kinder place when there is a smile or a wave. Thanks for reminding us of that.
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