Lazy

I started my day today by reading something from Seth Godin called "Hard Work." Click on the link. You'll like the post. I found myself laughing out loud as I read it, thinking about my mother and her words to me about this same topic.

When I was young, I'd spend time thinking about the most efficient and effective way to accomplish tasks. My mom was always on me about this. She told me I was lazy. I remember a specific instance where I had figured out a way to lace and tie my work boots in about half the time it had taken me in the past. I was particularly proud of this accomplishment and I thought I should share the approach I had discovered. After showing mom, she clearly explained that I was lazy and should go back to lacing my boots the way everyone else did. She was quite pointed about this, but as some of you know, I can be a little obstinate. To this day, if I have boots that require lacing, I do it the same way, the way I discovered as more efficient.

Fast forward to about a month ago. I had someone ask me how many hours a week I worked. My answer was fifty to fifty-five. Then I was stunned by the follow-up admonition that I wasn't a work-aholic. I didn't respond, but my mom's voice came back to me loud and clear ... LAZY. It rocked me back on my heels. I thought I was past this, left way back in my childhood, but her words came roaring up again to raise the question. The fascinating thing for me was the fact someone could make a determination about my entire work ethic simply by hearing a number. There was no discussion of how effectively I worked, or how much I slacked off during the day. With one single number I was compartmentalized into a segment of the workforce. I call bullshit. I'd much rather have three folks working for me who are intelligent and thoughtful, bouncing ideas off each other to make the result better than ten employees who just plod ahead, doing things the same way they always have. Seth Godin would call them cogs. Give me the smart ones every time. I will win the battle with those folks.

As I contemplate this today, it makes me wonder two things. First, how many of these types of landmines did our parents plant in our lives with no real intention of doing so?  And second, as a parent how many of these have I landed on my kids, or my friends and acquaintances? The second question concerns me more than the first. As for the things my parents and grandparents saddled me with, honestly they are at this point mostly in my past, or are so clearly part of my life they will always be there. This "lazy" thing is obviously one of them for me. But in truth, at this point I have gotten past most of this and found a road forward. Regarding the second question, I'm not sure how to think about it, or how to change it going forward. When this person challenged my work ethic solely on the number of hours I work, and not on the quality of my work, it was enough to make me pause. But have I done the same thing to someone else?

It seems to me the learning here is about the way I carry a message and the way I receive a message. Lately this has come top of mind again, not solely through this exchange. The business and working world is transforming as the average age of those in the workforce continues to get further and further away from mine. (I think I found a really elegant way to say older.) I received an email from a vendor a couple of weeks back asking for feedback on a customer situation. I gave very clear, concise feedback and the next thing I knew I received a follow-up email asking why I was upset. I wasn't in the least upset. I had just given the requested feedback very quickly and succinctly. Apparently this had not been the manner my much-younger (millennial) vendor was prepared to receive the information.

Long and short, communication is the hardest thing we do. It is tough because of the history we have with family and others and it is hard because of where we are aligned in the ever forward march of history. It takes time and effort every day to get it right, and even then, we will only be so close to right. Tomorrow is another day to fight the good fight and try to be closer to understood. If we all try, we will begin to find middle ground.

Have a great day.