Paper Chain

 When my children were young and a big event was approaching, one way we kept track of the time was to make a paper chain with the same number of links as there were days until the event.  Later, this became a discussion of “how many sleeps” until an event occurred.  It always seemed like my family was counting down to something; a birthday, Christmas, family vacation, something.

Today, we are in the biggest countdown of our lives, and everyone knows it.  My daughter, after fighting cancer for the last year is down to only four more chemo treatments.  Four! That is all.  We started a year ago with forty treatments and major surgery ahead of us.  Now, we are down to four.  In a world and a time that seems to move at warp speed, this countdown has taken longer than I can even put in words.  But in the midst of that, what we have discovered is true strength of the human will.  I’ve watched my daughter give up major events in her senior year of high school.  I’ve seen tears - more than I care to admit; way too much of the inside of a hospital (although nothing compared to Meg and Sara) and times when Meg couldn’t get warm, no matter how many blankets.  I will never completely shake some of the images and words from this last year. 

But in the midst of all of this, I’ve also seen strength that is beyond words.  I have watched my daughter, while fighting for her own health; organize a fund raiser with the swim team to raise money for the Cancer Society.  I’ve listened to her talk about the hurt she feels for the ‘kids’ - those still in their first ten years of life - on the floor at University of Iowa Hospital.  I have listened to her tell her own family that she understands her grandfather’s decision to say no to chemotherapy, and that if she were in the same place in her life she would probably make the same decision.  I have watched this young lady, already wise beyond her years; take a quantum step forward in her understanding of the world around her.  It has been an honor to watch her grow like this.  It has also been crushing that she had to.

We are coming to the end of this paper chain.  Four more trips to Iowa City and we will be done with this part of the journey.  Meg’s hair will grow out again; something we all look forward to.  She will regain her strength, and keep it, unlike what has happened to her time and time again in the last year.  She will go out with friends and have parents worry about where she is.  She will get ready for college. 

And we will all start another paper chain as we wait for the doctors to tell her she is cancer free and doesn’t have to come back in regularly for checkups. That will be a long part of the journey, but it is the part we have fought to get to.

Thanks to all of you who have kept us in your thoughts and prayers.  We appreciate it in ways we will never be able to explain.  Know that we are here; remembering and thinking of you, even when there may be big gaps in our communication.  We have made a long trip and you have been a part of it.  Let us hope that we will be able to spend quality time together in the near future.