Holding Court

There are times I love living in a smaller community, not because things are all that different, but because it is just easier to see what's going on.

Today I'm thinking about the group of older men you typically find in a coffee shop, breakfast place or even a convenience shop - just talking about the world.  I like to refer to this as "holding court." There is always one gentleman who is in charge of the group. Others gather round, but he is the focal point.

Two great examples.  A week ago today, I had to run up to Shell Rock, Iowa, to meet with a customer.  On the way, we stopped in Albion because Brian needed coffee and I needed to stretch.  We stopped at the Casey's because, well, that is the only choice in Albion.  Upon entering the store, we encountered all of the things that you would expect in a Casey's, plus one.  In the back of the store by the coolers, was a group of about 5-6 men who had actually built themselves places to sit out of cases of beer.  They were in a circle and were completely engaged in the happenings and politics of the town. The person who sat the farthest back had probably arrived first, and was in charge of the direction and pace of the rhetoric.  I found myself wondering about the group, so on my way out, I asked the lady at the register about them.  She said that she'd only worked there three years, but in that entire time, they were there virtually every morning for a couple of hours. The membership changed throughout the day and had changed over the years, but the group was always there.  So, this must be a small town phenomenon, right?

Fast forward five days.  I went to Kansas City for a meeting and stayed with my son and his wife (okay, that is still taking some getting used to).  They'd been great hosts and offered me the coffee maker before I headed out the next morning, but I didn't want to figure out a new/different pot.  So, even though it is not my way, I stopped at Starbucks.  And what should I find at this relatively metropolitan Starbucks?  You guessed it.  A group of men sitting at tables on the patio having a very similar conversation to the one I'd overheard in Albion.  In the middle of the group, there was most certainly a dominant individual.  It was hilarious to listen to them, because the conversation was the same as I'd heard earlier that week.  Local color and politics and how the world could be fixed.

So, I have to ask, is this a universal human behavior?  Is it somehow etched into our DNA?  As I ask this question, I think backwards.  When my kids were swimming, they had a tendency to draw people around them to talk and laugh and be together.  Just like the men who came together in Albion and at Starbucks.  Thinking further back, I remember that I always had a favorite place to eat breakfast wherever we lived. In Lees Summit, it was Neighbors; In Des Moines it was Boswell's; in Humboldt it was the restaurant on the north side of the street in Dakota City (I can't remember the name); and finally, in Sigourney it was Jack's Town House Cafe.

I went to the Town House with my Grandfather for breakfast and he always sat on the same stool at the counter and they always had his breakfast ready for him when he sat down.  He had already worked the room, making sure to talk to everyone before he even got to the stool.  He probably perfected the concept of "holding court" while moving around.  And when we were done with breakfast, he always knew everything that was happening in the community.

If I stop and actually get honest with all of you, I might have to admit that I've probably instigated some of this as well in my own time.  In high school, we all sat at the same table in the same seats every day. We talked about what was happening that day and what had happened the night before (probably even MORE important).  Then in college, there was a group of us who met at the same time and the same table every day for meals.  There were typically others who joined on a hit or miss basis, but the core was always there.  If someone missed a gathering, we followed up to make sure nothing was wrong.

Maybe this is all the equivalent of the early tribal council and the way that information was passed from member to member.

So, do you suppose that this goes back to the time of cavemen?  Is this so ingrained in us that we do this to cope with life that comes at us?  Is this something that those of us who don't participate are really missing out on?  I have so many questions and so few answers.  I do think it is worth more research though and I would like to know what you see and what you think.  Let me know where you see groups like this and what you think they are talking about.  If you are the member of this type of group, tell me a little about who you are and I will share.  Let's get to the bottom of this cultural phenomenon.

It's Included

There are times when I realize I've been in the business world far too long.  It has caused some skepticism in me and worse yet, it's splashed all over my family.

The other day I received an offer from Menard's showing all of the wonderful things I could get "For Free" just by coming in the store.  Now, admittedly, these were all items you paid for and then after submitting paperwork you would receive a rebate, but that isn't the issue.  I will accept that full rebates equal "free."  But, and here comes the skeptic, I just don't believe that free always means free. You see, I know that someone somewhere did the math for Menard's and calculated the percentage of people who will purchase those items yet never return the rebate paperwork.  Additionally, they've crunched numbers to determine how many extra people this advertising will drive to the store and how much extra those people will spend. They probably even think they know how many new ideas those people will get and then need to come back to the store to satisfy those "needs".  Free. Sure it is.

These things are not free, they are included.  Built somewhere into the overhead of the organization and in the way that they come to market, the cost of the items given away is offset by perfectly good money we have already given them, even if we have no intention to do so.

The most perfect example is the box of facial tissues on the bedside stand in the hospital.  I dare you to look through the itemized bill the hospital will give you (on request, mind you) and find the line item that calls out the amount charged for this box of tissues.  It won't be there.  But in between the lines that you can read, buried in a higher price for something else or some type of overhead, the cost of that box of tissues is buried.  But in just as real a way as if they charged you for it, the hospital is getting the money out of you for this item.

So my family now jokes about this.  It is not free ... it's included.  This has become a kind of a rallying cry for us and it is amazing how many times this has come into play.  You are in a restaurant that offers free refills.  No, they have really just figured how many refills they think the average person will drink and added that to the cost.  You get a free buffet at the casino - do I even need to explain?  I know there are thousands of people who fight the crowds on Black Friday to get deals and free stuff.  I sit at home and buy what I need online and let them deliver it to my door.  And yes, I can hardly wait for the drones to start delivering. I know that I will be paying for that, but really, how cool.

We always need to remember that our nation was truly built on a profit model concept.  It's what makes capitalism work.  Things just don't happen without there being a profit in it, somewhere, or somehow.  Or, if they do, it isn't for long. Short of true philanthropy, there has to be a profit to keep things going.

Now I know this may make me sound like a cynic; actually, I believe it makes me a realist.  You always need to think about all of the things that you are actually really paying for and behave accordingly.  If the place where you are having dinner has free refills on soft drinks, make sure that you have many more refills than you believe the average person could drink, or drink water at no additional cost.  If you go to the "All You Can Eat Buffet," make sure that you do.  If a dealer of any kind offers to throw something in you really don't need, ask them for the price without the extra and make sure they know you understand that you would have been paying for that extra something before.

The last thing I want to leave you with today are those things that are truly free.  The smile from a spouse or a child when you do something nice for them; the tear that comes to the eye of a friend when you honestly show you are interested in what is happening with them.  The heartfelt thank you that comes from someone with an armload of groceries that you hold the door open for.  These are things that are truly free and given freely.  It happens every day, but so often they go past us without as much as a passing thought.  I would tell you to stop and think about them.  We live in a world filled with truly nice people and sometimes we need to just slow down and listen to find this out.

Don't look for the next freebie - it is really included; look for the next selfless act that someone does for you, and recognize the true value in it.

There, I am done for the day.

Doc Miller (s)

This last week, Sara, Megan and I have spent time at the University of Iowa Hospitals. Quite a bit of that time has been spent with Dr. Miller, Megan's orthopedic surgeon.  He is, without a doubt, a gifted physician and surgeon. He is also someone we have been fortunate to know and the Midwest is lucky to have him.

Interestingly enough though, I began thinking about some of the doctors I've had in my life and it almost speaks to the way that the profession has changed.  One of the first doctors that I remember is "old" Doc Miller.  When I was a child and doctors still made house calls, this man was the one who came when we were sick.  He was, by my reckoning, older than the hills.  But this wasn't the thing that amazed me.  Dr Miller was a pipe smoker and the first thing he did on coming into my room for an examination was to put his pipe in his pocket, STILL LIT.  I know that during the exam he poked and prodded and asked questions, but the truth is that I couldn't quit thinking about that pipe.  When was he going to explode into flames?  I just could not even imagine how you would put fire in your pocket and have it be okay.  Every single time he did this, he completed the exam, made whatever pronouncements that he needed to make, reclaimed his pipe and left the house without incident.  I remember thinking that this just couldn't be possible.  But it was, time and time again.  Interesting for this to be one of my first memories of the medical profession.

Then came Dr Rodowieg in Spirit Lake, Ia.  We used to spend the month of June in the Iowa Great Lakes area.  Each summer, Dr Rodowieg would do our annual physicals making sure that we were healthy. Although he was a multiple pack-a-day smoker, he told his patients that smoking wasn't good for them.  In 1969, we were at the lake when the Food and Drug Administration banned the artificial sweetener Cyclamate from use in foods and most importantly, diet pop.  The news quickly filled with the fact that lab rats subjected to Cyclamate developed cancerous tumors and died.  Mom was, of course, beside herself.  We immediately went to see Dr Rodowieg, who calmly explained that the rats had ingested the equivalent of 350 cans of diet pop a day.  When mom logically asked the doctor what she should do to protect the health of her family, Dr Rodowieg calmly explained to her that he was buying up every case of the product he could find at bargain basement prices as everyone tried to get rid of it.

Next in the line worth remembering was Dr Gann.  He was a lifelong friend of the family and he always worked to take really good care of us.  Again, it was a different time.  One summer to help me lose weight, because yes, this has been an issue my whole life, he prescribed amphetamines.  Well, the weight fell off, but I spent the whole summer not only weak from losing all of the weight, but really owly since I was only sleeping a few hours a night.  But this isn't the thing that I remember best about Dr Gann.  That would be Eleanor.  I know, without a doubt, that she put a hook on the end of every syringe she used.  I've never had anyone give me a shot that hurt like that.  And, mom was a big believer in flu shots, so once a year, in we went.  Jaye and I would nearly come to blows over who had to go first.  Anything that you could do to put off the inevitable, even for a few moments was worth the effort.  I know that we were receiving good care, but damn it hurt.

This really only gets me up through the 80s, but as I think about it, those were the physicians that to me were the biggest "characters." One thing they had going for every one of us was that they knew us for a long period of our lives, and they were responsible for the totality of our health care.

Nowadays, no matter what you do in the health care area, there is a team to care for you.  Some of these people you will know, and some will be far behind the scene running tests and providing information.  On occasion though, you still find someone that is more like Doc Miller, or Ed Gann, or Dr Rodowieg.  You find someone that has all of the technical expertise and all of the science that is medicine today, and on top of that, they get to know the patient as a person and they really care about them.

The "new" Dr. Miller at the University of Iowa is one of those people. He is a brilliant technical doctor and a very compassionate human being.  I am thankful that we were fortunate enough to meet him at a time that we really needed him.

Take a moment and think back through some of the doctors you have had over the years.  Do you have stories?  Are you willing to share?

Life Value

Sometimes when we're in the middle of doing something that is just a normal part of our job, we discover that great discovery comes from a singular moment. Such was the situation for me last week. I had an opportunity to speak with someone that up until that point I didn't have time to get to know. Let me clarify that. It was my perception of time ... or the lack of it that led me to that point, but that's something I'll get back to.

Throughout our conversation, I discovered that this person was deployed with our military for a period of time.  I was fascinated as I learned about a work environment and a life that I've never experienced.  I have no military background, and though I might have wondered whether it was a mistake or not, it is sure nothing that I can do anything about at this point.  Anyway, when I asked what had been the most important learning that came from this experience, the answer was unexpected.  This person told me that they believed that they valued their own life more now than ever before.

I've written about the frailty of life before, but took me down an entirely different path.  This is truly the idea that when I wake up and greet the morning, I need to remember first and foremost, that I am alive for another day.  Now, if I am completely honest with you, there are too many times that the first thing I think about is how my back hurts, or how much I would like to roll over and go back to sleep.  Okay, those may remain secondary thoughts and I'll never get rid of them, but I need to start with thankfulness for the day. Period.

And this brings me back around to thoughts on my perception of time.  Every single day, it feels as though I am challenged for every minute.  At work, I am constantly bombarded by things coming at me - questions, decisions, problems, you name it.  At home my life is filled with things I need to do and want to do for my family, my friends and for myself.  But because I am so focused on not having time for things and I concentrate on just getting through the day, I know that I often miss wonderful opportunities.

These thoughts and this moment of self-discovery happened because I had to take the time to talk with someone that I didn't know.  I need to force myself to take more time to do that.  In the past, even if by simply saying hello to someone I don't know, I've told my kids that I continue to work on being more outgoing.  It looks to me like I need to redouble that effort.  I need to keep focusing on each day as the blessing that it is and remember that even the hardest thing that I have to do in a day, I actually get to do.

Okay, enough of this, I need to get busy and use the day that I have in front of me.

Might as well ...

A few years ago, I wrote a blogpost entitled "Tripod" about how a friend believed that the ability to have fun was like a three legged stool.  In order to make the stool stand (have fun) you needed to have creativity, spontaneity, and a positive cash flow.

This last weekend, I met a group of gentlemen who taught me the next verse: "Might as well ..."

Last Friday through Sunday, I had the good fortune to attend a weekend of training around the woodworking skills.  Weekend with Wood was sponsored by Wood magazine and the venue was at Meredith Corporation. I'm not sure of the final numbers, but it seemed as though there were about 500 people in attendance  We had the opportunity to enroll in six different classes with instructors and professionals brought in to help us learn or hone our skills.

Tommy Mac, the host of Rough Cut Woodworking on PBS, spoke after Saturday night's dinner.  The food and presentation were all great, but the group of men I ended up sitting with made the evening so much more fun.  This "gang" of guys were from Michigan and it was obvious that they have known each other for a lifetime.  In the group there is a doctor, and artist, a contractor, and an engineer.  One of the group had won, as a door prize, a week at the Marc Adams School of Woodworking, probably a $750 value without travel. While they were sitting at dinner, these men decided that it was unacceptable for one to go to this class without the others.  It made perfect sense. I'd already discovered that the four of them came to the event together in a motor home that one of them owned.

Then came the problem.  One of the four announced there was no way he could afford the piece of equipment that he had purchased at the event AND go to the woodworking school.  Just for clarity, what he had purchased was a Wood-Mizer - a portable gas powered band saw. It allows someone to turn logs into lumber and they probably costs in excess of $20,000.

The response from the group?  "Might as well ..."

Now, this is where I had to jump in and ask questions.  It was obvious that they all knew exactly what had just been said, but as an outsider, I was baffled.  The group explained to me that if ever, as a group, there was a real question as to if they should do something, it always came down to this phrase.  In their own shorthand they were saying that life is too short to not do the things that bring you joy and happiness.

It is so interesting that I had landed with this group, because in my own way, that's why I was at the event. When I had first seen advertising for the weekend, I'd thought how great the weekend would be. But because I always have trouble with the "cash flow" part of the tripod, I'd decided that I would not do it. Then, many different things happened and people pushed me to go. I also had a little cash come in that wasn't completely spoken for. Without even realizing it, I had landed at "Might as well ..." and ended up at the event to meet the guys who were able to explain it all to me.  Is it not just amazing the way the universe works sometimes?

Okay, just a little more about the weekend and the overall serendipity of it all.  First, I am still nowhere close to attempting to build chairs.  They are just too tough and have way too many angles to them.  Additionally, you have to come up with a way to scoop out the seat to make them really comfortable.  Beyond that, however, I learned all sorts of new tablesaw and bandsaw techniques. I even came to believe that I should look at a SawStop brand saw somewhere along the line.  And with all of the giveaways that Meredith Corporation had for us, at the end of the day I had received more than I paid out for the event.  Wow, just wow.

So, for any of you who are woodworkers, you need to go back and find out information about this year's event and then plan to be there next year.  You will not regret it.

Give Me a Number

As many of you know, I spent a couple of decades working for Payless Cashways.  For those of you that don't know what Payless was (it's been a while now), it was a retail lumber company that competed with Lowe's, Home Depot, & Menards.  At this point, I guess that I should say "tried to compete", but that's another story.  Anyway, I had the privilege of working with one of the finest group of leaders that I've ever seen assembled.  The group that I am speaking of was the store managers in the Midwest region.  This group was energetic, smart, and driven to succeed - all of the attributes that really differentiate good leaders from those who are challenged to be the best.

When I worked with this group, I had an opportunity to learn a lesson that I've never forgotten.  It came from our Regional VP.  At one point he told me that if he wanted results from our group, all he needed to do was figure out how to attach a number to whatever project we were working on and then generate a list showing how we all did.  From that point forward, all that he needed to do was sit back and watch the fun.  This was long before the days of discussions about metrics and driving the business through the numbers. Dave knew instinctively that this would work with the group in front of him.  And wow, did it.  Whether we were looking at the number of credit cards that we put in customers' hands, or the footage of woven wire fence that we sold, we would compete to be at the top of the list.  On the other end, we would do darn near anything to stay off the bottom of the list.

I have discovered that this works on virtually everything.  Here are a couple of examples.  About 18 months ago I decided to get serious about losing weight ... again.  But this time, as part of what I was doing, charting my progress became part of the ritual.  At this point I have lost over 17% of the weight I began with and I will tell you that one of the reasons that I was able to do it was because each and every day, I want to see the number on the chart get better.  I know that there are some people that this would not motivate, but for me it is a big thing.

When it comes to motivating others, I ran across a great example just last week.  Many of you know that one of the organizations that my family supports YESS (Youth Emergency Service & Shelter).  They are a great organization - taking care of kids who really need help.  Each year their largest fund raiser is an event that will occur this weekend.  They take several (45,000) small rubber ducks and float them down a body of water.  The winning duck, or actually their owner, wins prizes.  Anyway, back to the important part of the story.  All of these rubber ducks need to have numbered tags placed on the bottom of them.  For the second year, DMB Supply agreed to tag ducks at our location.  Last year we tagged 5,000 ducks and it took about three and a half hours.  This year, we tagged 6,000 ducks and we did it in only two hours.  What was the difference?  We had a baseline from last year.  We knew what we had been able to do and everyone jumped in to make it better this year.  And of course, I was in the middle, acting like a cheerleader, letting everyone know how we were doing.  Next year who knows; maybe 8,000 in two and a half hours or 10,000 in three?  We will have to see.

I really enjoy the fact that we are living in a time that there can be numbers attached to virtually everything.  Weight loss, ducks tagged, the list is virtually limitless.  But one of the things that is so important in this is that there needs to be someone that makes hitting the number important, and probably even more-so, makes everyone know that doing it is possible.  This really helps to bring the best to the top in almost all groups of people.

Management textbooks used to talk a lot about Theory X & Theory Y.  Although I do not remember which is which, one of them asserted that people were generally good and would try to do their best.  The other believed that people generally had to be pushed to get them to do anything.  It was the proverbial stick vs. carrot argument.  Do you lead a person to the right place, or do you have to drive them there.  I clearly believe that it is about leading them there.  That is how Dave managed the group of Payless store managers. Last week when we were tagging ducks, it was all about talking to people about what they could do.  Give them a graph that shows where they are and show them what direction "better" is, and I know they will rise to the occasion.  If you don't work this way, try it, you may be surprised. If you do, keep after it.

Equilibrium

It often seems to me as though we pass from one thing to another: young to old, untrained to knowledgeable, helpful to headstrong, just to name a few.  Over the past few weeks I've thought about this a lot, particularly with a view to the physical world around us. I don't believe that this is really true. Rather than moving from one part of life to another, I believe that the things we consider the building blocks of who and what we are, we exist in equilibrium, flowing back and forth between various states.  Let me give you some examples.

Consider knowledge, or intelligence. This seems to change on a daily basis.  We start at a given point, and if we are lucky and pay attention, we have the opportunity to learn something.  Through this activity, we move along the continuum toward the "more knowledgeable" end of the spectrum.  However, if we don't watch very carefully, we relax and the rest of the world sneaks up behind us, slowly moving us back down the continuum away from the place we struggled to achieve.  This can happen over an entire lifetime.  We struggle to move forward, then slowly but surely, if we aren't watching, the world overtakes us again.  Staying ahead is really hard work.

I have another example.  As children, we fought and struggled to become adults. As parents of children, we watch that same struggle happen and it can be really difficult to watch our own children through awkward ages and the trials that young life throws at them.  Slowly they fight their way, moving the equilibrium from child to adult.  Then as adults, we find out something amazing.  We discover that if there is enough pressure put on us, all we want to do is to run home to our parents and be treated as children again.  My father died in 1965 and my mother in 1978, and there are still times that all I want is one of them to take care of everything I face.  This happens when my equilibrium is pushed all of the way to the child side.  As adults, we do the thing that we have been taught to do; we start clawing our way back to the adult side, because that is what is expected of us.

Maybe you have spent time processing on all of this, but it was a new thought for me, and has been really helpful in the last several weeks. It has helped me come to understand that there are times when everyone, myself included, are more ready to take on the challenges of the world and there are times when everyone just wants to lie down and be done.  When we see that in those around us, that we know and love, it is up to us to help them move back to a place that is better for them.  To move across the continuum to find a new equilibrium that is a better, healthier place.  And when we are in a bad place, it is important that we recognize it and let those who are willing to help, do so.  We can rarely do it by ourselves.

Okay, so much for the serious side.  Now, on to the fun.

How many of you remember the game Plinko, from the TV show "The Price is Right"?

I had a request from YESS (Youth and Emergency Shelter Services) to build a Plinko board as part of their marketing for the Duck Derby on May 5.  I wasn't really sure what I was getting into when I started, but I have to tell you that I am proud of the way that it came together.  And the feedback is that the kids absolutely love using this at their events.

The Duck Derby is a great event and a really good place to spend a spring day.  It is also a really good place to spend a little money. All of the funds go toward programs for children who could really use the help.  There will be a flock of ducks in the running that represent my family and I hope that some of your ducks will be running with them.  And, if you are at a YESS event in the next couple of weeks and you see a Plinko board with big yellow duck sticker, tell them that you know the guy who built it.  You'll find my name on the back.