The Right Thing

In this time we currently live, I find there are many stories about people doing the right thing. Unfortunately, there are a bunch of stories about the darker side of the world as well. I have personally decided to work diligently to ignore those. When I can do this, I find myself feeling brighter about our world.

Of course I have a story or two that make me smile as I think about people doing the right thing. The first story happened after my grandmother's death. She lived in her own home, the house on the hill, until her death at the age of ninety-four in 2000. Grandma had been a force in all the lives she touched, particularly those of us in her family. When it came time to figure out what to do with personal and real property, we did what families do. We gathered. None of us expected that time to be joyous, but we found items that caused each of us to remember Grandma with a smile or a laugh. It was wonderful in its own way. 

In the middle of all we were handling, someone noticed Grandma's car wasn't in the garage. That was odd. So we did what you do in a small town. We called the garage we knew had done Grandma's repair work for years. They'd taken care of the family's vehicles clear back to when she and Grandpa had been over-the-road truckers. Phelps Motors, uptown on Main Street. It took a while to sift through the people and all the information there, but in the end, we discovered the car was there, and had been for a while. At this point, I'm not sure if it was for months or years - doesn't really matter. 

Anyway, somewhere along the line, the people at Phelps had decided that Grandma probably shouldn't be driving. Not driving wasn't a loss of mobility for Grandma. Folks came and took her to dinner or to the Historic Society where she worked. No car didn't mean she wouldn't be able to live her life. 

The thought at the garage was she may not be safe to drive anymore, even though she still had a current driver's license. So, they handled things the way you handle them in a small Iowa town where you care about the people you live with. They told Grandma the parts she needed to repair her car were unavailable and they would have to source them. And then, interestingly enough, they were never able to find them. Ever! So her car sat very peacefully at Phelps until we asked about it. They let us know that we could pick it up any time.  Thinking about it now, I have no idea what happened to the car after that, but the information is unimportant. The community took care of my grandmother's safety and well being and allowed her to maintain her dignity. No one had to tell her that she couldn't drive.

If one story were not enough, fast forward to 2012. When my father-in-law passed away, and the kids gathered to take care of the contents of his town-home, the most interesting thing happened. While they were working, his neighbor from across the street came over carrying a ladder. When asked what was going on, he explained that after watching Keith on the roof the last time, well into his eighties, he decided to borrow his ladder and not to return it. He didn't want to tell Keith that he shouldn't be on the roof. He didn't want to tell the kids that their father shouldn't be on the roof. He had just decided to go ahead and do the right thing. He took care of Keith in the way he could.

Today, tomorrow, make the decision to do what you know is right, even if it is not understood or supported by those around you. When you look in the mirror at the person you are, you will be happier if you have done the right thing. It's not always the easiest, but when you think about it, your choice might be pretty darned important.

Drapery Hooks and Tape Measures

As you have aged, do you occasionally feel you don't remember things as well as you used to? I am here to tell you with almost certainty this is not the truth. You forgot as many things when you were younger as you do now. The difference is you now have more things in your head to keep track of. When you were young and forgot something, you didn't even think about asking if you were forgetting because of your age.

I think a story is in order here. I graduated from high school in 1975. I was raised in a house where knowledge and intellect were important, but some of the more everyday things were less critical. For example, my mom believed dust on top of a piece of furniture didn't count unless someone made a mark in it. So, writing your name in the dust on the top of the console TV had consequences. And ... writing my sister, Jaye's, name brought comedy.

Anyway, I convinced mom it would be appropriate to have some type of graduation party. I didn't want a "cake and mints" type of event, I wanted something with real food people would come to after they went to all the other parties. We started the plans and process of getting ready.

One of the things mom wanted to do as part of the preparation was to clean all the drapery in the house. This was a big undertaking, but it was important to mom, so we dug in. We took all the drapery off the rods and took the drapery hooks out of the drapes. We put the hooks in a bag as we would need them when the drapes came back from the dry cleaner. This process took several days, so there was the period of time when we were living in a house with almost no window coverings. It was just part of the fun. Finally, the drapes were cleaned and picked up. We were ready to reverse the process. Obviously, the first thing we needed were the drapery hooks. They were nowhere to be found. We looked in all every single place you would expect to find them. We knew they had been put in a place "we would all remember." Eventually, mom had to drive to Ottumwa to buy new drapery hooks, a time and money drain we hadn't expected. All ended well as the house looked great and the party went off without a a hitch.  We never found the drapery hooks.

We lost mom in early 1988, so in the middle of that year we started cleaning out the house. One of us, Jaye or myself, cleaned out the junk drawer in the kitchen. Clear in the back corner of the drawer was a bag full of drapery hooks. Yes, they were exactly where we would have expected them to be, exactly where we had looked for them in 1975. Why had we not been able to see them then? I have no answer to this question, but I will tell you with certainty they had much more value in 1988 than they had in 1975. In 1988 they brought laughter to a couple of kids who really needed some relief. We didn't agonize over how it had happened. We didn't ask ourselves if we were getting old. We howled at the situation and thought about how funny Mom would have thought this was. We didn't question ourselves, we just lived the moment.

In my workshop, I have six tape measures. There are times I can not find a single one of them. Frustrating, yes, but I know at this point it is part of my process. I tend to walk around with a tape in my hands and then I'll set it down to work on a piece of the process and don't think about it until the next time I need it. When I need it, I expect it will be "right there" and if it isn't, I start searching the eight hundred square feet of my shop. Typically, I find multiples. It always makes me laugh, especially when I remember Mom and the drapery hooks. When I worked for Payless, on a very regular basis, I'd take a tape measure home on my belt and always forget it the next morning. That usually meant I would take a bunch of them back to work one day.

Long and short, give yourself a break. Just because you do something differently now than you did in the past, or sometimes you think it may take you longer, be okay with it. It is part of the journey we are on and part of the tapestry making up our lives.  I hope you enjoy today, and find a little quiet way to laugh at yourself, just a bit.