Okay, so I had to dig in deeper. There had to be more to the question. As we talked through it, I realized his question actually related back to a conversation I had with my Grandmother when she turned seventy. I may have already told you about this. On her seventieth birthday, Grandma decided she had reached the age where she was no longer gong to tell people what they wanted to hear. Instead, she was going to tell them what was really on her mind. That completely related to the conversation last week. My friend's question was really about getting older - seeing and dealing with more things and having less patience with people not listening to you when you KNOW what you are telling them is right.
In the middle of this thought process I was transported back to being an In-Store Supervisor with Payless Cashways. I was actually an In-store for a long time compared to many people I came into the mangement training program with. A lot of this had to do with the fact I really didn't want to move. What's hilarious about that is that once I got over that issue, we moved seven times in ten years. Talk about pros. We were.
Anyway, I was at the Hickman Road store in Clive, Iowa for several years as an In-store. The way the job worked, the inside of the store was divided into three roughly equal parts. The three in-store supervisors each had one section and reported to the Assistant Manager. The positions rotated to a new person any time someone was promoted, or otherwise left (if you catch my drift). Because of the number of years I was there, I had all of the areas several times.
My store manager was a gentleman named Denny. I learned a ton from him. I am the leader/manager I am today - partially because of him. I certainly do appreciate the teacher/trainer he was. We are getting away from the story. On this particular day, Denny called me into his office. I could tell I was in some kind of trouble. As we talked, he explained to me that I was no longer going to be able to manage the cashers. Although this was just fine with me, I decided I should ask why. Denny went on to explain that I was making too many cashiers cry. In digging through the series of information, what we both realized was that I had reached a point where I was unwilling to listen to any of their excuses/reasons for not doing the job correctly. I had just heard all of the crap too often before. It was like Klinger coming in to tell Colonel Potter the reasons he should be sent home. Potter had heard it all before.
This was the question I was being asked last week. Is there a time when you have heard and seen so much that you no longer care to deal with a lot of the crap people throw at you? I believe the answer is yes, with a couple of caveats. First, I think each of us has the ability to deal with repetitive or trivial questions, but the amount we can deal with is in direct proportion to the amount of other things going on in our lives. When we are extremely busy or challenged, our ability to deal with these types of questions and behaviors is far less than when we are relaxed and not as busy. The second caveat is that the ability to deal with trivial matters is directly affected by the amount we like the person doing this to us. If it is someone we like a lot, they can ask trivial/repetitive questions forever and we will keep answering. If it is someone that has driven us a little crazy from the beginning, this will always be an issue.
So the question that came at me kind of answers itself. When someone has lived a long time, and seen a lot of things, my experience has been they are always willing to help with something or answer a question - but only once. My grandfather was the first to teach me this. He would give me all the time I needed the first time. After that, he believed I should know what to do.
I really think this is the way a lot of our seniors view this. They will always help us, but we should see them as the resource they are. They are a cherished resource - not to simply be used on mundane matters which could be figured out other ways. This is actually much like some other cultures who see their elderly as a resource rather than a liability. Maybe we should think more about that and recognize our more senior members of the job, the family, the community - for the long view they have and are willing to share,
Call your parents and grandparents today if you can and tell them how much you appreciate the help and knowledge they offer you, all of the time.
