First is conflict that has no real purpose. This is often around a topic that is really not very important, or with a person that is not worth the fight. Now admittedly, there are times that this type of conflict can be very entertaining, working to push the buttons of the person on the other side of the conflict, but in the end, rarely is anything affected, or are changes made. Many of the conflicts around political personalities, or political positions fall into this category. There will be a lot of rhetoric around a topic, but in the end, very few changes. People tend to return to their original position, like fighters returning to their corners.
The second type of conflict is often encountered in our professional lives. I'm in the middle of this type right now. For the last year, I've been managing a rather large project at work. This project cost is in excess of a quarter of a million dollars. It is one of the larger projects I've ever been associated with and I have worked diligently to communicate with all of the parties exactly what I wanted to do and how I wanted to do it. As we approach the end, I find that one of the biggest targets that I had: an increase in speed in the way we do our business was not clearly understood by the company I'd hired. Needless to say, conflict arises. I understand that some of the people on the other side don't feel that I am being reasonable, and quite honestly, I feel the same way about them. We all know that the project needs to be completed and it needs to be done right. We will work through it. The interesting thing in this kind of conflict is that when it is all done, you can choose to go your separate ways, think poorly of the opposite party and never associate with them again. While that is a possibility, it probably isn't the best. We live on a small little planet and sooner or later, the relationship will need to be renewed. Interestingly enough, I am reminded of a conflict that I had in High School with a girl named Jane. At the end of it I told her that she would need me again. Hmm...well, not so far at least. Guess that I was wrong on that one.
The final conflict that comes to mind today is one that you have with those people you really love. These can actually be the most intense as we know exactly what to say and how to say it to make the conflict personal. When you get in the middle of one of these, everything that happens hurts you and hurts the person on the other side. In some cases of conflict, you can identify a winner. In this situation, there is never a winner. At the end of the conflict all you can really hope is that apologies will be accepted and that it will be possible to move forward and be okay. The wonderful thing is that since these are the people we care the most about, conflicts can be set aside with love and caring, apologies and acceptance. We may have to be stubborn and wait a while. but it will work out.
If you are dealing with unresolved conflicts, take a little time in the next few days to see if you can put one of them behind you. Just one. Take the steps to make things better with a person that you wronged, or may have wronged you. You will both feel better. I am going to try to take care of the work one this next week. And Jane, if you are reading this, give me a holler. We probably need to get that fixed as well.
Okay, a couple of other notes. I am working on a Quartered White Oak bed frame for the guest room, and I have to say that it is coming out absolutely beautifully. I can hardly wait to show you pictures when it is done.
And finally, if you have missed the series titled "Highway Through Hell," you have missed a good one. Check it out on Netflix. Now, have a great day.
